User blog comment:WeissSchnee/A Review/@comment-26104528-20150708162317

As part of me wants to help out with reviewing on this site, I'm happy to contribute.

1. "sleeveless vip-up vest" I presume you meant to say "zip-up" unless this is a term from Tasmania that I didn't know.

2. History: I think we've got ourselves a case-study in how to make a tragic backstory without being "edgy". My only gripe is that it never really touches on her general education. I guess we could head-canon in that this Grayson guy homeschooled her or something, but it is a bit of a hole nonetheless.

3. Fighting Style: There's an old saying that goes "The best swordsman does not fear the second best, he fears the worst because theres no tell what that idiot is going to do." (Paraphrase of Mark Twain). What do you mean by "rough around the edges"? Bad stance? Technique that leaves her open or could hurt herself in the right circumstance?

Also, since you have a street theif here, I'm feeling vibes of someone who fights dirty and does not play by the rules. (Or more accurately, someone who fights correctly since there are no rules in a fight for your life). As a rule of thumb, you always want to end fights as fast as possible. Doubly so with her type of upbringing so I'd reccomend adding some more underhanded tactics (eye gouging, sand throwing, and a whole lot of groin kicks) over rate of attack.

4. Weapon: It seems a lot of people like making a rouge-like OC that use dual revolver blades. (It also seems a lot of them are chambered for .357, but that is a pretty good round so I can't yell at you for that.) It's the only part about her that is pretty overdone. Seeing as you've already gotten the art and even an animation for it, this is just something you may want to keep in mind for future OCs.

All in all, we still have a pretty high-quality character here. The formatting is great and it's easy to read.