Talk:Suzuran Keiskei/@comment-31408668-20190303062716

COLOR NAME REFERENCE

Color name reference is recognized. Suzuran refers to the name of a flower using the Japanese kanji 鈴蘭, meaning lily of the valley. The flower itself is a pure white color.

APPEARANCE

Nothing to detract from here. The character is well-described, it is easy to make a picture of her in my head. Very good and concise. No problems here.

PERSONALITY

Her personality seems consistent with backstory and her general behaviour. A very brazen and bold character, the personality itself is very striking. It's a nice touch that she also has the social know-how to see when it's better to take a more measured approach. It's also good to see that the boldness of the personality is contrasted with the more negative side of it, with her rather fly by, non-caring attitude. No problems here.

BACKSTORY

Short and sweet, gets to the point quickly, has what is necessary. It might be good to fill it out more, but it's not necessary. Presence in Vytal Festival is noted. No stepping on canon toes. No problems here.

WEAPONS AND COMBAT

No weapons, being a weapon herself. No problems here.

When it comes to combative ability, it doesn't seem ridiculous. She uses a more dexterous form of combat, which seems inline with her more artful fighting style. No problems here.

SEMBLANCE

Charity, as a Semblance, does not work. It does not work, because it is extremely vague. It can drain the vitality of anyone she touches. Alright. Can it go through clothes and armor? How direct is the touch? At what rate is the vitality drained. Not that this matters, since it breaks two very fundamental guidelines; Aura Bypassing/Manipulation and the first rule in the Guidelines; the No Limits rule. This Semblance doesn't address how it drains vitality. Either it ignores Aura and just drains vitality through it, or it drains the Aura itself first, the first being Bypassing and the second being Manipulation through taking someone's Aura. The second problem is that this Semblance doesn't have one drawback. It doesn't use up Aura, since it's replenished by the vitality drain itself. It can be turned on and off in less than a second. It can actively take down a person in single combat in less than a minute. It can even be used to technically pseudo-heal someone else, and then she can just recover by draining someone else. It is, in every respect, completely broken.

Let me reaffirm this; this Semblance can't work, unless it bypasses Aura in some way. Which is immediate grounds for rejection.

CONCLUSION: REJECTED (Semblance bypasses/manipulates Aura. Semblance has no specified limiters.)

'''Let me say this. I like the character itself. Suzuran works well as a brazen hero, maybe even slight anti-hero due to her not caring much for other people. She could also be molded into a brilliant, fun villain. But the Semblance is utterly broken. It would need to be removed and changed for something else, or it would need SEVERE limitations to it.'''