Talk:Forest Drake/@comment-30530552-20170818024410

Okay, so let's take a look here.

CNR is fine. Fun fact, Forest Green is also a shade of green, so you were fine there anyway.

Appearance is fine. Nothing of special note there.

His personality is okay, though as a personal feeling the mask & the actual personality should not be treated as interchangable, because one is the real personality and the other is not. As a profile, I think it'd be wiser to pinpoint which is the real him, though in this case I find it to be obvious. Again, my opinion; take it with a grain of salt.

Weapon isn't unbelievable given what we've seen, though I would like to know how it transforms, because in my opinion, that'd probably be a pretty big hoverboard. Additionally, how does it hover? Does it use Wind or Gravity Dust? Something else? Can other Dust types be used in this mode in combination with it? I'd like to know this.

Semblance isn't bad, though I question the purpose of one having what's basically an electricity generation Semblance when literally the same thing can be accomplished through Dust use with fewer limitations. Additionally, this section probably could've used a touch more detail since it lacks a bit of length. I did like how concise you were with what you did have though. Another thing, just to be sure I'm reading right: he builds up static electricity (which is amplified greatly) and releases it on a victim or object, correct?

Backstory, the two things I'd like to bring up are the setting and the "Nightmarian Eye" group. Vacuo is heavily implied to be a mostly nomadic society, with most people living in makeshift housing and living rough. Not to say there aren't towns and cities (the main Kingdom likely being one), but I thought it'd be important to mention going forward so that if canon comes knocking later on it won't destroy what you've built. A custom name for this city might be useful too, just to distinguish from others. As for Nightmarian Eye, can you give at least a small synopsis of this group/faction? That way I can get a sense of size or scale since the page you have linked for it does not yet have any info regarding it.

Overall, a couple of small changes necessary.

-Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~

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