Talk:Shuryo Seji/@comment-24490414-20150620235847

Hi! I'm just someone who wants to give advice about Shuryo before you decided to put into Pending. I've been on this wiki long enough to know a good amount on what's acceptable and what's a giant fat no when making OCs.

Please refer to the RP Moderation Guide and the Character Sheet Base, because that'll help immensely in getting your OCs accepted by the Reviewers. I'll be also basing my main points from those pages along with my personal experience in creating OCs and going through the review process:

I'm sorry, but you're gunna need to change Shuryo's name on the account that there is nothing color-related to his first name. Even though his last name refers to sage green, there's a wiki-specific rule that the first name MUST be a color. I've seen plenty of OCs rejected on that account alone, including one of my own OCs.

The wiki does not allow the usage of pictures from anime or any established series as it obviously meant that the picture was taken and uploaded without permission. Any artwork uploaded must be either from a dressup games site like Rinmaru, from yourself because you drew it, or from an artist you commissioned (and said artist gave an ok of you uploading to the wikia).

Shuryo's personality is horribly flat and there's nothing about him aside from being cruel and a little masochistic towards his opponents. What about how he acts/feels around his teammates? How does he feel with the training in Beacon and overall studies in becoming a Huntsman? Is there even anything that makes him genuinely happy? All of these factor in what can make Shuryo... Shuryo. Otherwise, he's just being read as a mindless drone that only wants to kill.

Ok, there has to be a much better explanation to why his parents sent him to a hospital other than for "being a freak." Or at least elaborate more on it. Perhaps Shuryo was mentally instable enough so the hospitalizataion was justifiable. The part where he "disintegrated the whole hospital" is just absurd as there is no way an adolescent would have the ability in RWBY to do that. There's also NO mention to how he went from a hospital patient to a student at Beacon (and for that matter, a student at Signal) nor the timeline between his time at the hospital and attending Beacon is mentioned. I also have to ask the question why would Beacon want to accept someone who essentially blew up a government building out of madness? Surely a mentally instable person would be wildly unqualified to become a Huntsman let alone lead a team.

Everything about Shuryo's weapons and combat are just one giant fat NO and is in need of being nerfed IMMEDIATELY. No lifting up an entire building. No ability of surviving otherwise lethal injuries and still fight while at near-death. .... Just no on anything that says that he's a superhuman (or superfaunus in this case) with no weaknesses whatsoever. He either specializes in one or two skills or none at all and there has to be drawbacks with each specialization. No excuses. Furthermore, there is no way that a 17-year-old can feasibly be an expert in two types of martial arts, especially a 9th degree black belt in Taekwondo, as they take considerable amount of years of training for just one area and it's impossible for someone to rush through the ranks.

Aura cannot be used to directly attack others or others' aura. See the RP Moderation page I linked for further details.

... I don't want to try and understand how his Semblance works and I don't know how you can bypass the Reviewers with this. This is far beyond OP than what Shuryo can supposedly do normally and is also in desparate need of a nerf or even a rehaul and find a completely new Semblance.

The design of the headphones is the exact same from the character you decided to base Shuryo from, right down to the letter. (In fact, since I've taken some research and found this lovely page, it looks like you've taken a whole lot more than just the picture you used to describe his appearance which means you're just flat out PLAGERIZING FROM ANOTHER WIKI. And yes, that needs to be in all caps because of how serious the topic is.)

PLEASE take what I just typed into consideration, especially the last bit, and have a nice day.