Thread:KuraiJack/@comment-40226952-20190814021709/@comment-13488655-20191004031255

Hrm.... Good so far. Only a few spelling errors. Perhaps linking some of the names fot the different parts of clothing would bee useful since honestly I was not sure what most of it looked like till I used google. But yeah. Definetely a unique and thought out look.

Personality, seems a bit one dimentional. But he seems like a nice guy.

The stats part is a nice touch. Gives a sort of D&D feel.

The parts about him being in multiple wars.... Ok... Battles and fights are one thing but, he would have had to be 9 years old for him to be in the Great war and while there are cases of child soldiers in history, giving one a melee weapon would only mean you're adding another kill to the enemy's count. Not to mention the mental trauma that would give to any child.

Secondly while Huntsmen and combat students do have training to face grimms, saying that a 7 year old could hold off literal monsters that feed off of negative emotions while cleaning up dead bodies, is not only messed up but a foolish as handing a child irl a knife to fight off a grizzy bear. Yeah protection may be nearby but that kid is ****ed!

Being given training early. Happened to Ruby, because Ozpin was insane and desperate for a silver eyed Mary Sue. Abdul ain't silver eyed and was just a brave boy..... Possibly now messed up from cleaning up dead bodies in a war but still, that ain't enough to say, 'he's ready'.

Now onto why though training young has its benefits, but also has its downfalls.

Training a child up from infancy or early childhood to be “the perfect assassin/killer/soldier” may sound good on paper, but in reality it would not be a very smart move at all.

First, you’d be looking at spending time and money on training someone for something-teen years before actually getting a payoff on one’s investment. On the other hand, you could get results a lot faster and with a lot fewer resources by simply starting out with adults or near-adults.

Trying to start a child early in order to desensitize xir to death and violence is a crapshoot, too: there are good odds that child would simply end up traumatized with PTSD or PTSD-like symptoms, which would make them unsuitable as a soldier or killer. If the child ends up being a sociopath, then you’re not much better off because sociopaths don’t make good soldiers. Yes, you can probably count on them to throw themselves into causing trouble with glee… including at home, in the barracks, or even when left unsupervised in the field with nothing else to take their boredom out on. Plus, people without empathy are very poor at predicting what their enemies will do next, because they can't put themselves in their enemies shoes to try to imagine what they might do.

Finally, how many kids actually end up being everything their parents wanted them to be? How often does training up a child to be a perfect anything actually work? Training a kid up to be a perfect assassin would be no different.

Now onto the weapon.... Scissors. Oddly shaped ones..... Ok. The sword I get, it's a unique idea but that curve is gonna hinder you more than help. Plus it's not thick enough to do that much damage. Yes RWBY falls under rule of cool and style over substance but luckily the fanon follows a helpful thing we call logic.

It having a placebo effect or, I guess you could call it a nocebo effect  would make as much sense as me saying a needle is poisoned before striking someone with it and them dying from it. More than likely, it's just going to make them pause for a second in confusion before realizing the poison effect wasn't true.

Engraving it with jewels.... I'll let Occelot tell you about that one. https://youtu.be/q5w8tqjoqF4 You see, what Rooster Teeth never tell you is that when it comes to fancy weapons on the battlefield, enemies won't fear you because of it. They'll do what people in games do. Focus on you so they can kill you and take your weapon. To them it becomes less of a threat and more of a trophy. Not to mention that those jewels will break after repeated blunt strikes.

Upgrading an heirloom. Sounds good. Would make it better. Also would be cheaper and more efficient to just make your own version from scratch. I think the mods would also view it as, 'Well does he have it or not?'

Using wind to make a after image or mirrage. That doesn't work. Manipulating moisture in the air and temperature, yeah guess that would be more accurate of a description. Combining an aura to amplify its effects. .... I've never heard of this before. Either it's newly added to RWBY or something rejection worthy. I also see no way this links to his personality. Usually with semblances they can be shown as a reflection of part of one's personality. Ruby's shows her hyperactive nature, Yang's shows her rage, Blake's shows how much of a coward she is (Personal opinion) and so on and so forth. I see nothing in Abdul's personality that can relate to an illusion.

Warrior prodigy..... How I've grown to despise such claims. There's at least 70 'prodigies' in this fanon all claiming to be unique peak performance combat specialists. It's like looking at resumes of braggers and narssicists. If he's skilled, let his fighting talk for him, not his titles. Otherwise this fanon becomes like DC and it's laundry list of 'child geniuses'. I see he's also top of the class in most of his subjects. Makes him skilled and tallented while making him a lot less interesting. For me at least. It was here learning about 'how great he was compared to everyone else'  that I stopped reading.

When it comes to stories of the 'top of the class' going to fight a army of bandits, of course you know he's going to win. That's like saying, "Who's going to win? Superman or the US army?" Of course Superman is gonna kick their butts.

Now for some tips

Your character needs to be more than tough and talented.

Strong, sexy, smart, skilled, and sassy are all great character traits, but on their own they're going to leave you with a character who is at best forgettable, and at worst completely unlikeable. You build a good badass the same way you build any other character type - by creating a complex, three-dimensional, nuanced character with believable emotions, fears, hopes, vulnerabilities, hobbies, quirks, etc. Don't create a badass who happens to be human/faunus. Create a human/faunus who happens to be badass.

Stop and ask yourself: if you took away the skills and talents that make your character badass, do you think anyone would care about or want to associate with your character? If the answer is "no" or "probably not," it's most likely time to rethink your character, or plan for some in-story character development.

Don't create an unstoppable kickass machine.

Characters who are so awesome and unflappable that there's no doubt they'll win are boring to watch - people already know how it's going to end. Get some tension in there - put your character in real danger. Let him genuinely worry. Put the character in a situation he cannot overcome alone. Badassery isn't always about having the ability to overcome a major obstacle; sometimes it's about having the courage and willpower to face that obstacle. Phil Coulson wasn't badass for blowing a hole through Loki's chest; he was badass for standing up to him knowing he was probably going to die. When Buffy defeated the big bads of each season, it wasn't satisfying to watch because she could take them out by flexing her pinkie - it was satisfying because she had to face and overcome challenges, obstacles, and even losses first.