Thread:TorrentAB/@comment-13524376-20130729170657

I was hoping you would critique my writing style and help improve it.

Chapter 1: The Dark Beast Riseth 

“A forest in eternal winter, a figure on her knees in a clearing all in bronze with the head of wolf, a howl pierces the sky. The figure stands as a pack of beowolves enters the clearing. The beowolf leader steps forward. All that is heard next is the growls of wolves, but indeed a conversation is taking place.

‘Leave this land, imposter human scum’, the leader roared to the figure.

The figure retorted in a soft and silky voice, almost enough to enchant even the foulest of beasts, ‘Why would I leave my own land?’

‘Silence, you know nothing of our ways.’

‘Looks like civilized conversation is not an option,’ the figure sighed, disappointed as she drew her claws.

‘Kill this impudent human.’

At their leader’s command the wolves charged at the girl and swung with their strongest strike. The girl gracefully dodged as though this was all a pre-planned dance. Her counterstrikes told a different story of a savage animal. Despite being human her strikes were enough to rip the flesh of the wolves’ bones.

‘Who are you?’ the wolf leader questioned warily.

‘I am Ririi, the Wolf Flower.’

‘You have earned your right to be on this land.’  