Talk:Cliff Magazine/@comment-24901923-20140908152308

Hi. You may remember me from the RWBY group we're a part of on facebook, when I alerted you to the color rules recently. I'm not on staff and can't do official reviews, but here's some advice from what I see so far. 1) You need a Trivia section spelling out the OC's color association. Since the name is Cliff, it should be tan/brown/grey/etc due to the landform of the same name. Nicknames can't count towards your color association either. 2) Semblance. NEVER missing, velocity increase, AND predictive power? Too much man, especially that last one. Needs to be toned down and add a few side effects/restrictions to take off it's OP(overpowered) status. Lucky for you, I know about some characters with similar powers from another series, so I'll drop you a link to the appropriate page for you to check out so you can tweak it. Trust me, I know your pain, I've been frustrated for weeks at a time trying to get a Semblance right. 3) Your writing needs a bit of work. I understand what you're trying to say, but it still comes out all kinds of choppy and jerky to me. 4) Add the Pending Category to your OC, so that reviewers can see and evaluate it. Chances are they'll reject it this time, but they'll tell you exactly why and that gives you a chance to fix it, put it back into Pending, and have it re-reviewed.

Here's the link to the other series' page: http://alphas.wikia.com/wiki/Hyperkinetic

Here's examples from my own OCs of Semblances which I had to tweak and tone down a bit to ensure that they can be accepted. Check the comments to see some of the changes that had to be made. Rowan Forest, Albus Silvermane, Balina Savannah.