Talk:Eclair Delamar/@comment-25924729-20190320092310

Nice character, a lot of attitude in the writing. Its cute :)

Appearance and Personality are fine, nothing to talk about there.

Backstory is acceptable i guess...? The part about somehow knowing that the villains were in Ozpin's office during the BoB comes a little close to canon interaction, but her semblance does seem to justify her having the intuition or ability to sense evil there, and she didnt see exactly what happened inside. Its iffy, but not really a problem.

Her main weapons seem good, id suggest specifying how much ammo each magazine of her SMGs can hold though, to give a more accurate gauge of her firepower. Also, what is the Dark Winter? Im assuming it has something to do with the Caravan of Song. If it is a weapon or a utility item carried on her person, you must explain futher what it is and what it does on this page.

The largest issue with her abilities is probably her semblance. The pre BoB version seems alright,  and even the communication function of her upgraded one is alright. However the mind reading becomes seems very OP.

Being able to basically read the minds of an enemy would allow her to react to practically everything they do, negating most strategies or actions, and having to blank their minds to counter this semblance would also make them unable to fight at all, or limit themselves extremely. At least the original version could only sense general intent and emotions, so there was a chance of error, this is just too much, too accurate.

Id suggest removing the upgraded ability to read minds, or put more severe weaknesses and limitations on this semblance to balance it out.

CNR checks out, no other issues found.

Rejected.

If you have any questions please DM me on wikia or Discord.

~RP Moderation Team~