Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-24296957-20150113152446/@comment-25536574-20150116001031

Breyal Yoland

Appearance: If a picture is available, could it be uploaded? The run-on sentences make it a tad bit confusing.

Personality: Elaborate, elaborate, elaborate. More detail, try to think of more positives. As I was reading it, I noticed you put a lot of negative qualities for the character, which is all good and dandy, but based on her description, she doesn't seem the negative type.

History: Opposite of personality, there's a lot of extra detail here that makes reading it eventually boring. Try to cut down to the bare basics, and build up from there. Graphic organizers are also helpful.

Weapon: Wow. Extremely original and well excecuted, remind me of Yang's weapons due to the fact that they're gauntlets, but otherwise, very nice work. The description seems confusing, and a picture would probably help to soften that blow.

Overall: While I was looking at the name, I could not find any gemstone related to the word Breyal. You might mean Beryl, but that is naturally yellow.

I would accept this, but due to the naming error, it is

Rejected for the reasons listed above.