Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-27603392-20140704110526/@comment-5041507-20140725050842

Sirce Marion

who is she genorous to? Obviously not everyone since she's a habitual pickpocket.

How did she learn to fight? I don't see anything about that in her backstory. She'd need to already be a very capable warrior by the time she gets into Beacon. I don't see when that happened.

Vale Forest? Do you mean the Emerald Forest? We have a complete geographical map of Remnant. It's fine to make up cities, but something like a forest is a bit harder to miss on a map. I'd suggest replacing this with one of the several established canon forests that surround Vale.

She's too fast. If others only ever see a blur, that means she's bordering on Ruby or Oobleck speeds, which is too fast. Add to this that she thinks fast too, and is a marksman... She's starting to sound a tiny bit Mary Sue.

If her Aura is actually completely drained that means she's going to be collapsing on the floor in exhaustion and entirely unable to defend herself. That hardly seems like a fair trade for a single extra-fast arrow.

The whole entry for Maleficent Marion in Relationships comes completely out of left field. Nothing in there is even mentioned anywhere else on the whole page. In fact, in the history section you specifically said that her mother was unknown. I'd recommend that you remove this entry entirely as I feel that the page as a whole is better off without it. We don't even know for certain that androids can imitate people yet. This is by far the biggest issue with this page so far. It's a good thing it's also one of the easiest to fix.

Final verdict: Rejected due to the reasons detailed in paragraphs 2, 3, 4, and 6 of this review. Vale Forest and Maleficent break canon far too much, and Sirce is far too powerful considering that the most training or practice she seems to have gotten is hunting for food in the woods. Fix these problems at the very least and then you'll have a good chance at getting in. Have a nice day.