Talk:Messer Danam/@comment-13593058-20170803001823

Oh hey, this old guy. I remember him. Well if it's all the same, I won't go into my traditional style of reviewing. Nothing seems out of the ordinary, however, there are SOME inconsistencies I do like to point out.

For one, the backstory/bio is somewhat lacklaster in terms of visualizing the location where Messer came from. It kind of works off the assumption that Messer is from Vale but it just sounds awkward to me.

Messer being trained to fight by circus folk? Doesn't make sense to me. Please expand upon that.

The last thing I have issue with is more about your unlucky circumstance. Since you've been gone for so long, the page for Grimm Chance has been deleted for housekeeping purposes. I am also not sure of anyone else who uses it anymore so the mention of Grimm Chance should be a page of its own as a well as a brief explanation on the character profile page so reviewers don't have to read multiple pages to review one character.

On to small nitpicky stuff. I personally feel his backstory has too much accessory details. As a reviewer, and you a former one, I've kind of moved on to promote a more streamlined way of presenting backstories, and that's to get straight to the point. Backstories aren't stories, they're summaries. We leave stories in fanfics now, and especially when you have to go through maybe 6 OCs in a row, it may not be the most fun thing in the world.

Rejected for now.

~RP Moderation Team~

P.S. also added in the Grandfather Clause for you since we implemented it.