Talk:Liath (Alan) Sagonige/@comment-13172690-20150731195119

Ok I see a lot of problems that have to be addressed.

First off, for the rules of the fanon, the character's first name has to be related to a color to pass the CNR rules. Please explain how his first name relates to a color or use a different name.

Ok, "(He tried changing his eye color but found out how hard it was to control it. He was lucky he could get it back to a similar color!)" We havent really seen this happen in the canon aside from neo's eyes changing and it only occurs when she fights according to what we have seen so far. I will have to say no on using that so please remove it.

As Ive stated with the eye change, the semblance is something we have not seen in RWBY (if at all). Though manipulating other people and the deconstruction (breaking bones) along with the other pieces with forming skin to fly like a squirrel and the heart link...Sorry but no. I'm rejecting the entire semblance all together, even with the limits placed on it. Please choose a different one or leave it out.

As for the background, there are quite a few holes. why does the person want to be a hunter and how did he get into Beacon Academy? As for the gunship, what is that? Is it something we've seen? Im pretty sure that would not be enough to take down a huge Nevermore. Also what is team ABLE? Does this allude to a color? Ive also seen that he's like a jack of all trades and masters all of them. That is also a big no. A person has to have weaknesses. They can't be good at everything.

Lastly, your weapon. From Yang's weapons that use shotguns, the person that uses the railguns wouldn't really have arms left because of the very high recoil from a railgun. Like after the first shot, the force of the railgun gauntlet would take the person's arm off. Also a railgun wouldn't be able to change modes since its only pure destruction. Though no problems with the tomahawks.

Honestly, you have a ton of work to do.

Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~