Thread:JayHart/@comment-26362067-20150730020153/@comment-25857155-20150730035752

Alrighty - nah, it wasn't too long. You're decent at this, so I probably won't have too much.

Bonus for simple weapons from me, if a little unfitting for the rest of her charact - actually, no, they use thrusting only attacks (mostly), so they kinda fit her overly direct attitude. She's ambidextrous, but is she better with one hand than the other (at writing, for example)?

You mention her stance, but not what it is - hands on hips, arms crossed, etc. Work on the order of things a little under Appearance (grammar preference on my part; I'd put complexion earlier on). I'm digging the look overall - the style of hat you're talking about is called a tricorne, by the way. Wait, what kind of leaves? Are they made of actual plant matter, are they painted metal, do they serve a purpose?

I like how hard to like she seems. "Others see her sarcasm as wit, and her bluntness as honesty..." - any others in particular? Is it a "most don't like it" kind of thing? I can also appreciate a good curse thrown in now and again, but take care  not to play that bit up TOO much when you write her. Practical jokes seem a little off from the rest of her; might want to mention that side of her in another way as well (not sure how; too tired atm). ...Ah, so part of that is a mask. Ok, I can get on board with that - be sure to explain why she hides that part of her.

Let's see.... you may want to lower her Aura and Vitality a bit to balance with how high her evasion and parry are; she seems to tanky. She's definitely a rogue type - possible a Rogue/Ninja, though the Job might have to wait until she figures out her semblance.

Ah, main issue - her nicknames are "silver XX"  but her colour is green.

What did her parents do? You made no mention of their professions; it'd be nice to know a bit about that, and why their house was torched.

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That's all I've got for now; hope it helps!