Talk:Karakurenai Tamotsu/@comment-27743663-20161229181311

CNR checks out.

Appearance is fine.

Personality is fine.

Backstory, well, if he's applying himself to Atlas Academy, he's going to need prior training to get into that school. Like, Huntsman training. Not basic sword training his dad gave him. Which is where a school like Signal comes in, or whatever the Atlas equivalent to that is called.

Semblance is fine.

Weapon is fine for his status.

A note though, you might want to improve you're writing a bit. As it is now, you have your past and present tenses mixed up for most words, and some need to be swapped entirely. I can still get the general gist though, but I can't say the other reviewers will.

As another note, your city. It's fine to just have it as a city in Atlas, but as the capital? That's drudging into Canon too deeply. We also don't know if Remnant had something like an industrial revolution after the war to improve weaponry.

Tl;dr

Rejected on:

- Backstory lacking appropiate training to get into Atlas

- City being placed as Capital and interferring with canon.

~RP Moderation Team~

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