Thread:Nicholas619/@comment-24678303-20190311121715/@comment-24678303-20190321214238

One word. Moderation.

A lot more words. To put it simply, your character does not fit the universe. You state them as knowing MANY languages (none of which exist in the RWBYverse), is proficient in most forms of CQC, is an expert marksman, is good at swordplay...No. It says he's pretty much good at everything. Lemme tell you why that's bullshit.To put it bluntly, no character is that good unless they're a badly written, overpowered mary-sue. There is absolutely no reason for all that shit you added to the end other than for him to be more powerful for no reason.

Second, the Semblance is a MASSIVE issue. It breaks a very big rule we have here under the Semblance category, which involves Aura manipulation. It doesn't work like that, chief. Not only that, but you have it doing WAY too much at once. Semblances, not even the Schnee semblances, are that versatile.

Third, there's no problem with making a character cool or badass. You've just failed at both points by trying too hard without doing any of the work to achieve either title. He's like the generic Isekai protags...Scratch that, he LITERALLY IS trying to be an Isekai Protag with that shit in the Age section regarding reincarnation. Cease that. That's DEFINITELY not what we're about here.

Your character also lacks a backstory and has no discernable weapon that I could make out, so they are as detached as possible from the universe here that you could possibly be without being...I dunno, Megatron or somethin. I suggest you take about 20 paces in reverse to get a good look at what you've created, the rules and theme we have here, and other characters on the Wiki, then try again, cuz that ain't it, Chief.

There's PLENTY more wrong with this character that I could point out, but I hope I've gotten my point across by now. If you need me to, I will go through and tear this character apart, piece by piece, so you get the picture. Please do not make me do so.

With that, I hope you correct yourself. If you need help, join our Discord and talk to our staff and members. There's almost always someone on to assist with ideas.

RWBY Fanon Administration