Talk:Sparks Mayhem/@comment-13172690-20150819202009

Nice character, though a few problems.

In your backstory, how does he get into freelance work? Is it for a job or to get experience or for a different reason. That part is unclear and please explain. Also with Honey as a faunus, she cannot be since, in the rules, if a character's parents are not both Faunus, they are human. So in this case honey would need to be human. Please change that.

For his personality, he doesn't want to socialize but he's cocky and taunting. That doesnt seem to fit here. Please fix that.

Lastly, for his combat, for a 16 year old, I would think that he would be proficient at 2 of those styles at most. That's going a little too far with more than that there and how did he learn these styles without combat school? And to his weapons, you could just say powerful charges and also how much damage does it do? How fast does it run out of dust? Did his father teach him a bit when he gave them to him?

Lot of fixes are needed,

Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~