Talk:Solator Crimsona/@comment-10337166-20161117083638

For the love of god, stop trying to make your organizations into Kingdoms. It seems like you just moved over all the problems of the Meiyo clan and stuck them here.

As it stands you've written them to be their own kingdom with a big city and their own laws. AT MOST, we allow Merc bands, and nothing more, certainly not giant organizations which have existed for hundreds of years.

Nor can they be the 'secret sword and shield of humanity', MERC BANDS that's it, not secret societies. Once again I question why you can't just do something simple nad have to keep trying to do these massive grand plans

Onto their equipment, you mention it being, incredibly durrable, but also light, and allowing them to move super fast? Pick one.

Why were the Grimm and White Fang working together, that was only because of Adam and Cinder at Beacon, the way it's written it sounds like you're basically trying to recreate that so you have an excuse to go after 'another salem'

Rejected

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