Thread:JackWasup/@comment-4974591-20160807192222/@comment-4974591-20160809000554

Takeshi kun21 wrote: (Now that I have an actual laptop in hand)

I've scrolled through the personality, noticed there was a lot going for him. He's honorable and allies find him trustworthy, but when you said, "he will find some way around to breaking a word to an enemy," I question that statement. Viridin doesn't make promises to his opponents does he?

There's also a contradiction when you mention he's spiteful as well as being cheerful and nice. Those two personalities are polar opposites. It can be understandable if Viridin has a pleasant facade when interacting with people who don't truly know him, but otherwise it's an either/or situation between the two natures. That doesn't mean you should make him completely heartless, he can still have somewhat of a "nice side" but it should only show of one of his friends is dealing with a serious issue.

You've also noted that Viridin fights other students at Beacon, yet he's still attending Signal Academy according to his backstory and Char info box. Not only is this another contradiction, if you're planning on having Viridin attend Beacon at age 15 guidelines state that wouldn't be possible; Ruby's case for gaining acceptance was special enough and granted by Ozpin himself (as well as plot reasons).

Now the Semblance is probably one of the biggest red flags. I understand, he's a strategist and all, however, there are no drawbacks to it what-so-ever. Does he get headaches for prolonged usage, fatigued after every time he uses it? Along with the skill, there should be some sort of weakness that goes along with it in order to balance things out.

I'd also recommend shortening his Semblance to one singular ability. Pick one between the main three ideas that you had, as all three together are way too OP. Neo only deals with disguises, and Emerald has to focus on her target to make them see her illusions. Okay, um, this is kind of embarrassing. Yes, he goes to signal, but I forgot to edit Beacon into Signal while editting other stuff about him, so that is just an honest mistake I'll go and fix among other things on his profile. I also don't know if I made it hard to understand, but I meant that he would be spiteful to people who already know him, or to people he still uses his "facade" on, but I understand if I'll have to change or fix this up a little. I also never had any idea a semblances had weakness for each indivual user, and if it was, I don't think I ever notice any noticeable draw backs or weaknesses with the characters semblance on the show.

All in all, I havr made original characters before, but it was all different than this if any of you were wondering. This is just a new way making a character for me with all the rules and what not, and looking back multple times for errors. I thank that both you pointed that out though, so I'll be able to fix it.