Talk:Seti Khemet/@comment-25924729-20181202064345

Review of danger noodle boy :v

Personality and backstory sections are alright. Some issues with his appearance section.

Faunus are only allowed to have one trait each, this guy has snake eyes, scales and fangs, making 3 separate traits, too much. You will have to remove two of them. Also, it would be better to describe his clothes in the section as well, linking pictures of them in the Image gallery isnt good enough.

His weapons are alrght, khopesh's are cool. Semblance is also mostly alright, except for one question to address. It says the sandstorm charges in to aid him in battle, but.... where does it come from? Does he take sand from his environment and bend it to his will? What happens if there's no sand around at the time? It would be alright if his semblance generated its own sand to use, but since he seems to be taking sand from outside sources, issues like these have to be addressed.

Onto his abilities... they seem to correspond with his 3 faunus traits, which like i said just now 2 have to be removed, leaving only 1 trait and one ability. Should mention that night vision is a default thing for all faunus, whether or not his trait are snake eyes. The venom from his fangs, if you wish to make that his trait, seems alright. But the ability to slither.... i dont think thats possible by just having snake scales? Like, his entire body's muscle and bone structure would have to change for that to happen. Whether or not he has scales, he should not be able to slither like that.

Last issue, how the name Seti relates to a colour is not explained. All OCs names have to comply by the Colour Naming Rule, and an explanation how be added to the Trivia section of his page.

Rejected.

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~RP Moderation Team~