Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-24296957-20141130191712/@comment-8182065-20141207031657

Arkhosia wrote:

The only exceptions really so far are Roman, Ozpin, Glynda, Ironwood, and the teachers, but they aren't students. Also cinder may as far as we know be a pseudonym. Actually, Ozpin is the only exception. Everyone else has a color allusion that's easily noted or needs small research.

I plan on doing a few reviews, but for now I'll start off with: Drait

Now, I'll first start off by saying Drait does not bring a color to mind. Although in the Fancharbox and in the trivia section, it is stated that his first name is actually "Rai". It is a bit misleading, considering it only appears twice on the page itself, and is one of those things that could've been noted somewhere. The main issue, however, with the name is that Rai also does not bring a color to mind (translates to leprosy in Japanese, food for thought). You're only taking part of a word, raitoningu, instead of using the whole word; that idea for a color allusion is quite a stretch.

In his backstory, I would like to ask why he felt his brother had killed his family. There was no foreshadowing about him turning mental, so the idea that thieves or serial killers committing the crime, along with kidnapping his brother could have been another, more logical conclusion.

His personality could be fleshed out a bit more. And things like him being cocky in battle should be noted there rather than his fighting style in my opinon.

Semblance, I believe using Lightning Dust would achieve the same effect, so his ability is a bit redundant. And with gauntlets named Spark, I assumed that they would be using electricity over ice (could have one hand be an ice elemental and the other ligthning).

Out of everything I went over, the name is the only big issue to me; everything else is just a few things that stood out to me. Rejected.