Talk:Michael Hikari/@comment-30530552-20180225235932

Alright Michael, let's see what you got.

CNR, I checked on another page that Dust reviewed and accepted, and they have similar color tie-ins, so I have no issues with it.

Personality and Appearance work out, no issues there. (Sidenote, might wanna edit that Neptune comment even if it's not canon-interaction. Comparisons like that aren't necessary, you could just go like "unlike some" instead.)

Weapon seems cool, wish there was a way I could see it transform since words don't do the transformation justice (which applies to all pages with interesting weapons, honestly).

Semblance, you were correct to be concerned about it. The idea itself works, and that's not an issue. It's the limitations that need work. As of right now, he has no shown cost to using it, and it pretty much functions as an "everything in one" type of Semblance. You should probably stick to 2 or 3 main weapon forms it takes, OR make it so that he can't necessarily remember all of the nuances and functions of previously seen weapons / unable to perfectly replicate them (i.e Maybe not make a gun function? Just throwing out suggestions).

Additionally, you're also gonna have to define how strong or weak these constructions are, how long he can use them for, and other relative costs.

Backstory...I feel like you could elaborate more on his origins, How were his parents affiliated with the church, for one thing (or were they just religious zealots of a sort?) Why was there a random greatsword in the...(church?) How did he happen to miraculously come across the papers he needed to get into Beacon? Canon-interaction with Ozpin, though honestly, I don't know who else you could give it to reasonably, so...maybe just say he got the papers turned in.

Oh yeah, you have a name error as well...as of right now, Micahel met...Michael in the initiation. I assume it was Yang he met up with, given the context. The rest seems fine.

-

To summarize, Semblance needs more defined limitations and the backstory could use some elaboration/reworking. The ideas so far are solid, though...keep it up.

-Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~

-

Questions or concerns? You know where to find me and the other reviewers.