Talk:Zaffre Trailer/@comment-5831327-20141104152911

Well, as you said it's incomplete. But from what I saw, it seemed decent. The fight scene was well laid out and easy to follow, with decent description. Zaffre also got some description of her physical appearance as well in away that seemed natural.

You need to work on character establishment. So we see this like it's we're a third party or some omnscient viewer, sort of like how we are when we watch RWBY. This isn't a bad thing in itself. But if you're writing a story, then you need to get more into the heads of the characters. So what was Zaffre feeling when she was fighting. What was she feeling before that? Just add a touch of that in this prologue, because too much and it's overdone and takes away from the plot.

Keep it up.