User blog comment:Shazoto Touge/Indigo Nevermore (OC opinions)/@comment-136203-20141031033809

Naw man, I'm new to this RWBY thing myself, but not so much to OC making, but you should probably take my opinions with a grain of salt anyway.

Yeah, not sure about the wings, or the fact that they're a color that raven wings generally are not. But there are some pretty cool red kinds of birds that I like. Red-Winged Blackbirds have really neat wings that are black, with a patch of red at the base. There's all sorts of Tanagers, which are my favorite kinds of birds because RED. (I'd suggest Summer Tanager, since my favorite, the Scarlet Tanager has jet black wings that are the only part of him that's not red.) There's also Cardinals but who cares about them. There are some other birds with red wings, if you want I can go through my field guide and find a few. (You probably don't, because I will talk birds at you for hours on end.)

Actually, come to think of it, if you wanted to switch to a single color scheme, you could make her an Indigo Bunting faunus. Like, it's literally right there in her name.

There is a reason that humans generally do not have bird wings on their backs, and a reason why humans have not been able to make actual functioning bird-like wings for people, and that is because humans have a hugely different shape from birds, who've evolved to be very good at wings, while we evolved to be good at seeing over tall grass and throwing rocks at stuff and also excessively complicated communication systems.

But that doesn't preclude wings, it just means that those wings are gonna be a pain in the ass for her. Like okay, do you think they make shirts with wing-holes? No, she's probably gotta make all her own stuff and find a way to wear a shirt that her wings don't get caught in. It also makes it EXTREMELY obvious that she's faunus, which could definitely be a bad thing for her, since she doesn't have the passing privelege that someone like Blake does. How are you going to hide it? Short of pretending to be a hunchback, you aren't.

And yeah, the three part semblence is not super supported in canon, but is also just plain really confusing. Things being Not Your Final Form are okay for Final Fantasy bosses, not so much for anyone else. Try to stick to something that's easy to explain?

Also, maybe describe things you took from other fandoms for people who don't know anything about those fandoms? Like you explain things in terms of "okay it's like this thing in Destiny" but I have no idea what that is, so I can't visualize it. Plus you do want us to think that this is an original character, do you? The secret to originality is obscuring your sources.

Also, yeah, why is Atlas giving robots to faunus? Like naw, I'm not dissing the robot, I love robot friends, but I think it'd be cool if she found it in some less handwaved way. Like okay, did she find it in a garbage bin and it floated up to her and was like "HIIIIIII~" and one of her quests is to figure out who left this bot in a trash can? Does she have an old friend who's handy with machines that made it for her as a present? And if Atlas did give it to her, then what'd she do that gained their trust so much? Did she do some heroic deed? Is it hush money because she knows some secret and they gave it to her for her silence? When I hear "robot friend" I think "WOW!" and I want to know more. So give me more.

It's also kinda weird that her last name is the name of a Grimm. I kinda like the idea that it's kind of a reclaiming thing, like since she doesn't know her family, she doesn't have a last name, and everyone called her "Nevermore" to insult her and imply that not only is she less than human, that she's more similar to Grimm, and she was like "Yeah, y'know what? I'll go with that." That's just my idea, doesn't have to be yours.

Also, yeah, why's she want to be a Huntress? Because that is a profession in which you will definitely die a horrible death, and it is a profession that requires a ton of training and it is a profession that is not the only useful profession in the world.

Anyway, I am a huge fan of bird faunus for some reason, and I am also a huge fan of total nerds who spend their lives studying like a big ol' nerd. A big ol' bird nerd. And as I am a bird nerd, it is my duty and obligation to help out all my fellow bird nerds like her.