Talk:Bartholomew Varega/@comment-6975131-20130923044312

This has got to be a section by section review.

The appearance is active and outstanding, you talk to the audience about what he looks like, as if a freind was describing him, unlike the computer like description most give, you showing off of the vocaulary was also a nice touch. Your artwork really captures the wild hair look, when most people say wild hair, normal guys would take an hour to get it to look like that. 8/10

Geh, I hate leaving reviews were most of it is praise, but i must say, this is REALLY good, I am sure i can find one flaw somewhere  >.<

PErsonality is very in-depth, you have how he acts, then you have why he acts how he acts, ehich is great when it is right in the personality section, so the reader doesn't have to dig through backstory to find the key to his personality. 7/10

The weapon is the est part of the OC, even moreso than his backstory, I mean, it IS him. It isn't a 6 footlong roadsword, and it can barely be held with two hands, much less one. But to counter this you created an idea not as of yet seen in the fanon, The Dust Brace, in most cases this would feel like an un needed add-on, but here yo go into such depth, and make it stand out. It is also good that you put a firm limit on it's capabilities, if he could weild that giant weapon like a dagger due to this brace, I would lose some connection with your OC. One thing that keeps this from being a perfect 10, is that he feels more like a soldier, and it doesn't seem very practical, how he would ever  utilize these other tools, when he only has one arm to begin with. You did explain this, however, I doubt the stealth capabilities of a grenade, and if he was caught after he threw said grenade, if he could whip out Reverend in time to defend himself. 9/10

Here is the whammy. The Backstory, Barth started off with a pretty normal life, he was fit, he was educated, he had it good. He was even smart enough, and skilled enough, to have his weapon forged earlier than others. Even when his mother fell ill, i had two possile plot lines going through my head "Overly dramatice emo tragedy" or "Mary Sue prodigy", needless to say, I was very wrong. BArth lost his mother, though tragic, it was very expected at this point, what I did NOT expect, was for him to kill his father, I can almost feel all the developing plotlines, him losing his father and mother in such quick succesion has to have devastating effects on his psyche.

After all of this, he get's thrown in prison, and when he is freed he goes straight into the military. Where we learn about a squad of soldiers, that I hope you plan to write a fanfic on. I became attached to these characters, for the few paragraphs that they were alive, when his love intrest died, as well as one of the twins, I felt like we had a full scale greek tragedy happening. The plot twist with the Fauna was interesting as well.

His mental instability and recovering process was well thought out, and after the introduction of the Red Dust Arm Brace, I feel like seeing more of Aaron as a character is a neccesity. He is very old to be attending Beacon as a first year, ut his skills are oviously a cut above the others. I find the ending inspiring, one of the only non depressing bits in this story. I like his new attitude, and new outlook on life.

Overall, minus a few typos here and there, this is easily one of the best characters on the fanon, if not the. The only negatives i could think of, were his grenades, and lack of Barth Squad Fanfiction.

9/10 overall