Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-24296957-20141130191712/@comment-4806269-20141215210709

Amet Revfold

I think it should be important to point at first that the article itself isn't organized in the best way and that it can be somewhat confusing/uncomfortable to read; the resume of the article, that is, the first paragraph, isn't redacted correctly and looks more like a bunch of unorganized phrases rather than an actual paragraph/resume. I'd delete it and go straight to his appareance. Besides this, I'd put the weapon paragraph before the fighting style one, and the personality one before the background one, and I'd put the The Kiyng Clan one together with the background one too; when you're writting a text, you should start from the general to the specific, from the superficial to the internal things. Overall, the redaction of the article needs work.

Appareance and personality is alright.

Backstory seemed a bit confusing to me at first, but it does make sense with Amet's caring and seemingly peaceful nature.

Ability-wise, he seems OP to me for being a student, as I haven't seen any weaknesses pointed on his profile and it says he can engage in any kind of combat without major issue, not to mention he has an "uncanny quantity of Aura". And, is there any limit of his Semblance? Can he improve his reflexes and sensorial inputs as much as he want or he can't? Remember that sensory overload is a real thing.

Rejected, but fix his battle capabilities and you should be fine. And I advice you to fix the order and redaction of your article so people can read it easily.