Talk:Vergil Engel/@comment-25763181-20131012011614

Erm, why is there a description in the contents box? Nah, not my problem. Anyways, I like your OC. First of all, the backstory is the selling point here; you have a great one right now. However, you need to seperate them into paragraphs - IMHO it looks a little scattered as it stands. Also, I don't really see any flaws in your OC (GARY STU ALERT!!!), so I suggest fixing that.

Everything is well detailed and well thought out in my perspective. though, the "Appearance" section needs to be more descriptive IMHO as I am quite confident that you can put some more detail into it. Why does he wear what he wears? The description should be detailed enough so that when someone draws a picture of him using the details you have provided and when you look at it, you'll say "That's exactly how he would look like."

Overall, great OC. Just fix the Gary Stu problem, put your stuff into paragraphs (if needed), and put some more elbow grease into the "Appearance" section and you'll have a winning OC.

8.1/10