User blog comment:JackWasup/Need some helpful advice on somethings.Please/@comment-24617443-20150611000217

One thing I found that kinda made me cringe as I go is the grammar. It was a good idea that you asked for others to review it though. I don't see the need for you to add three seperate fighting styles, also the description for your semblance is confusing to read (again, an issue in grammar). You should also clean up your personality section. The backstory section on the other hand is ok but obviously unfinished (not unless you ended it like that on purpose). You should at least add how he ended up in Beacon. Other than that its a-ok I guess.