Talk:Condurre Bishop/@comment-27743663-20170304032824

CNR checks out

Appearance, not info is given. He wears a hot, cheerful. What's his hair color? What color are his eyes? Complexion? Does he have a particular posture? Does he even wear any other clothes? This is mandatory to write out, even if you have a charbox giving the info.

Personality is extremely barebones and lacks any substance, but eh.

Backstory, huge contradiction with personality right off the bat. No remorse to killing > Heart of Gold. These fundamentally contradict each other, you can't have a heart of gold and help others if you have no problems in shanking them seconds later. Moving on to actual backstory, how on earth did he become a master sniper and world-renown arcahelogist before 18? No, that's not possible, and it's not up for discussion. Much of his abilities should not exist during that time-frame, if not all of them.

Semblance lacks demerits. Nothing stops him from keeping it up forever save for inconvenience. Weve been over this already with several of your other OC's, semblances need demerits. It's mandatory. 300 years is also too much, lower it. And that doesn't mean the usual 20, or 40, or 60 you usually do. Think for a minute what would be an acceptable range that would be fun to RP with, and not something horribly broken for the sake of "cool."

Weapon is fine, sure.

Tl;dr

Rejected on:

- Appearance needs actual describing besides a hat

- Personality contradiction doesn't make any sense

- Many things happening in backstory shouldn't happen. He's not even 18.

- Semblance lacks clarifications and demerits

~RP Moderation Team~

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