Talk:Nafesn Greywolf/@comment-25197246-20140731234445

Hah, your character is already accepted! Not surprising, Nate is pretty solid in terms of a character. (I sorta wanna rp with the team... maaaaybe.)

First I want to point out that there are a few typos in the first few sections "faunus, silhouette, due." If you want me to fix them myself, I'll need permission to do so, otherwise, a quick read over and you should find those.

Secondly, I don't think there is need to define a hybrid, since Nate still has the characteristics of a Faunus anyways (you can simply elaborate that he had a human and Faunus parent). But that's not a huge problem, it's only that RWBY hasn't defined a category for "half-breeds," so I just assume that this group of people remain with the Faunus ethnic group... phew, I don't mean to sound racist there, but just a point.

Oh, and a third point is for your whole team: you should probably seek some artwork, to spicen this team, because it deserves some attention and all, you know? There's also the issue of enigma not really being a color, but I'll just ignore that for now.

Appearance: It's always better with a pic, but I suppose it's fine.

Personality: There's that standard of 3 paragraphs, but I suppose Nate's personality is clear enough. Maybe you could describe how he would make a "best friend," other than the implied loyalty.

Weapon: Did you ever describe what Shadowblast looked like? I mean color-wise I'm expecting gray, but is there anything else on it worth noting? I like the twist with the chain-saw like function there, but is there any transformation between the phases?

Abilities: Balanced melee skills and with a good set of flaws in his defense that makes for a rounded fighter. Not much to pick, though I honestly wished he had a more "unique" semblance-- though valor, which sounds like super-strength more than anything to me, is fine.

The stats aren't overpowering either. (You got a similiar Stat Total that I used for my team, which was around 70 points total.) Though, if I had to pick, I'd think hisd Critical Rate would be higher, and his Evasion and maybe Dust Attack (since it doesn't really exist) can be lowered in exchange.

Background: I suppose all the violence he wrought on the bullies is his contradiction of wanting to protect others? I mean, the story is solid. Maybe wanna clear up on his current relationship with the White Fang, in terms if he's still on their hit list.

Onto the next one, then.