Talk:Maria Bones/@comment-24911350-20140603141035

--Requested Review--

Unfortunately, not noticing a whole lot of good things.

The first thing that really captured my attention was that she has both ears and a tail, while Faunus only have a single animal trait.

Her appearance during her Beacon years is also pretty repetitive. "She also now..", "She also has...", "There's also...", it makes it sound a bit stale.

No real issues with her personality, but I'd keep a close on his. That line, "she eventually warms up to them after a while", is ridiculously overused, It's everywhere, all the time, and In my experience it's usually because they can't write the character consistently. I'm not sure if there's any of that here, but it is a huge indicator so it might be a good idea to watch out for it.

There's also a bit of a contradiction in her abilities, saying that she's good at finding hiding spots, then later saying she's really not stealthy. I'd also advise some caution taken with her buster swords, because lightweight also means less mass and momentum in striking. Two massive blades like that are going to be very unwieldy no matter how you look at it, and large, cleaving arcs are the only way to attack with these weapons, which are very easy to block, and leave large openings in defense.

I also have to wonder about her backstory, why would her father tattoo his map onto her head? It's far more trouble, and will be very conspicuous for at least weeks afterward. He could have done it on her back much easer, without having to shave his daughter's head, without a curved canvas that's very difficult to work on, and without having to wait days for her hair to grow back so it's hidden under her hair.