Thread:Nice Things/@comment-30379057-20170131200146/@comment-10337166-20170131223150

-Once again, small small child, not even close to RWBY's age, fighting off two, big strong white fangs members

-There's currently no evidence of the white fang, or even the neo-white fang, kidnaping small children. Why would they need to? There's currently a massive influx of horny, edgy teens with a chip on their shoulder joining them

-40, LIFE OR DEATH FIGHTS, AND HE IS A SMALL SMALL CHILD. You're seriously underestimating all the advantages even a teen would have over him, either edit his age, or remove this part.

-No cooldown, No time limit, the fact that it's weak to a torchlight hardly makes a difference, you still missed best 2/3. Also I'd appreciate if you didn't take that condescending tone with me.

-Okay so the 'rage mode' made no sense to me, you talked about it like a second semblance, and described it in a way that made me feel it had a compareable power to a semblance, but, it's not a semblance? If it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck.

-MENTION THAT THEN, don't just say 'and then he showed up at Beacon, and was so special and amazing, that they let him in, and all the girls say "I'm Pretty Fly.....For a White Guy."

Seems like you're trying for a lot of the theme's I used with my OC Orion, but your execution is pretty terrible.