Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-24296957-20150113152446/@comment-25612705-20150113171858

Breyal Yoland

Great character! Love the weapon and how it ties in with her faunus kind. And her semblance seems well balanced and fitting to her fighting style and weapon.

However, it's said she's a kangaroo faunus, but I couldn't see what her faunus trait was. Also, there is a point in her semblance that just states "She can't find" but doesn't seem refer to anything. Not sure if it was meant to be tied into the previous sentence or a start to an unfinished thought.

And her name Breyal, is stated to be a purple gemstone, but I've never heard of it and every search I made brought up nothing. Is it possible you meant the gemstone Beryl? Can you link your source for this?

Nice character, but due to the name/colour connection, and lack of faunus trait I'd have to say rejected for now.

(I should also say though, the way this page is worded and phrased is odd. I found it a difficult read. A once over might help to re-work this and make it a bit clearer.)

Chloe Chroma

The changing eye colour on a whim is a problem. Everything we've seen from canon idicates this is usually tied to semblance, not something they have that much control over.

It says she's a faunus but doesn't state what kind of faunus or her trait.

The weapon seems well thought out and nicely designed. However her semblance is way to OP. Time travel seems way out of place in the RWBY realm. The whole process seems quite complicated too. Perhaps you could achieve a similar affect with the joint weapon by using a clone-style semblance?

You didn't note a name/colour connection but google says Chloe means green shoot or herb, so that will work.

So overall I feel that Chloe needs more work before she can be accepted. Sort out the semblance, note her faunus trait, fix the eye thing, and I would also like to see more backstory and maybe a bit more to the personality section if possible. Until then I'm afraid I have to say rejected.

Denver Verde

Wonderfully thought out character. His description and personality work nicely together, as do his weapon and semblance. I see nothing that would keep him from being accepted. Well done, accepted!