Talk:Ash Westwind/@comment-24678303-20150529132246

Okay, for starters, please refrain from saying “75 inches”. It makes everyone’s life much easier if you just say 6’3”.

With that out of the way, let’s get started.

Okay, please do not compare things to a Canon Character when it’s not necessary. You can just say that he’s a weapon fanatic, no need to compare him to Ruby.

> “…his family’s anti-expressionism values.”

You…Wot? I don’t know if you’ve actually paid attention to the show or not, but that goes against it pretty badly. Go listen to Ozpin’s speech about why the people of Remnant hold self-expression so high, then get back to me.

Wait, why did his best friend attack him when he did something that was for the better?? That seems like a really shitty friend, honestly.

> Weapon Derivation: Crescent Rose

I'm going to stop you right there. Do not base weapons of ones that already exist in Canon.

> "Modified Atlas-25"

?????

Okay, going through the rest of the weapon, it's pretty much a rifle that you can beat people with. The way it's written is confusing, to say the least. If it isn't just basically a rifle that you beat people with, i don't even know.

As for the Semblance, it can't have more than one ability, even if there's and 'Active' and 'Passive' part to it. Plus, Semblances that allow even limited flight are not allowed, not to mention that this...You are basically giving your character the Force, tbh. I can't really see any other way this Semblance was going.

Also, i don't know if /you/ know how using a scope works IRL, but it doesn't make you completely unaware of your surroundings like it does in vidja games. Using a scope doesn't take up your entire field of vision and completely eliminate use of your peripherals.

Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~