Talk:Azura Mavi/@comment-25924729-20181210080904

This is.... Very difficult to read, like, separating the sections under Headings would make the page more readable. I actually didn't see her weapon and semblance sections the first time I skimmed this page and almost rejected based on that.

Appearance and personality sections are alright. Backstory is really long... Almost like a fanfic in itself. A lot can be cut out or summarised i feel, or written as  a separate fanfic page. Being descriptive is nice but other users read the characters page to quickly get the basic information and know what they're dealing with, this just makes it difficult for everyone.

The end of the backstory has its own small issues. More details about the bounty hunting team would be good, like why she decided to join and why they decided to take her. This is an issue cause at no point during the backstory does she show any interest or reason to become a bounty hunter, or have any training to be capable of being one, and thus little reason to be actually recruited. Explanations in these points will be nice.

Time manipulation or time perception manipulation semblances are still not allowed at this time, but from what I read, the effects you describe can also be achieved by a simple mental boost type semblance, which would be allowed, just remove the time and perception parts.

Her weapon and semblance would also both benefit from more details and limitations. Details like how long the tranq darts need to have effect, how long the short burst and extended uses of her semblance last etc should be added.

Lastly, her page lacks a colour name reference section. I understand Azura refers to blue, but it should still be put on the actual page itself.

Rejected.

If you have any questions please DM me on Wikia or Discord.

~RP Moderation Team~