Talk:Electrica Thundree/@comment-24416658-20160914071907

I'll preface this by saying that there are a lot of grammar issues here, ones that should really be fixed. That said, moving on.

While the name does check out under the CNR, I would have expected simply using "Electrica" for "electricity", since that's usually depicted as yellow of some sort. But that's personal preference.

The weapon....I can sort of understand it, but the grammar issues make it difficult. As far as I could tell, it's boob heat seekers with a belly grappling hook, but I can't understand much more due to the grammar.

I feel the semblance is fine, with limits placed and no real rule breaking.

Backstory is hurt by grammar and lack of information. The grammar makes some sentences confusing to understand, at the least. Context wise, some info is missing. What is the crystal of aja? Where did it suddenly come from? Also how does simply helping to tease someone give family acknowledgement? Please go back through and add more necessary details.

Rejected due to backstory lacking details, but also heavily recommend fixing grammar issues.

--RP Moderation Team--