Talk:Sapphyre Nilshikha/@comment-24147441-20141026022536

(P.S. You were right about the fan page. It's much more convenient!)Alrighty, here are my attempts at reviewing your characters like I promised! 1.) Appearance: ★★★ No issues here. Her combat outfit looks practical to fight in, and personally, I think she is quite lovely. 2.) Personality: ★★ I have seen more OCs and just characters in general with this type of personality than I can count. So natually, I find it cliche. When I look at this character, she does not strike me as "the carefree, cheerful one". In fact, based on looks alone she strikes me as a completely different type of person -- someone rather focused and even a bit quiet/reserved. You may want to bring her personality across more with her body-language. Perhaps when you draw her, you should give her more dynamic poses, and make her smile wider? 3.) Weapon: ★★★ Her weapon is certainly very interesting. However, for practical purposes, 3 special arrows + 7 average ones as a standard that she carries around seems very little. Since she is pictured with her bow in her original concept art, and her semblance is dependent on her arrows, I am jassuming that she is mostly a ranged user? If that is the case, perhaps she should carry a few more arrows. Especially since battles can be quite unpredictable and she might find herself in a bit of a pinch in the event she's short of them. (That being said, I have not seen the rest of the team as of this moment, but that probably won't even be necessary now that I think about it if the rest of her team can make up for it with range.) 4.) Semblance: ★ The semblance is very much based on luck. It does not seem like a very good one to have when you're in a pinch. I could also see the semblance either being a very good thing in a lucky situation, or completely backfiring in a very bad one. Combined with the fact that it can only be used 2x per fight, makes this semblance is quite tricky. If it were easier to control/predicit and could be used more in a fight, then it would be a bit better. 5.) Backstory: ★★★ An interesting backstory.  I do think that the bit about the family's secret business is quite interesting, if even a bit contradictory. Personally, if I were a huntress and had to choose between having dust with standard duration and standard effects, or dust with prolonged duration and weakened effects, I would pick the former. That may be personal preference, but during a Grimm fight, with Grimm being as tricky as they are, dust that has a longer life probably would not help me much if its effects are so severely weakened. Also, if the business is partnered with the Schnee Dust Company and other higher up companies, I can't imagine it being so unknown to the general public. I would assume that the said companies would promote this service because its a business partner? Now, I'm no business expert, but that is just what I'd imagine. I could be very wrong. Also, if Sapphyre was running a business as well as attending school, but is absent enough to perplex the teachers -- how did she juggle it all? How did she maintain her grades? Coming from someone who knows personally how too many absences in school can completely destory a good academic streak, I would like to know! I find it pretty cool how she got into the school -- having the mafia targetting you and your family business is more than enough motive to go to a top-tier huntress school. I also like how the family reached a middle ground so that Saf can focus on her studies while contribute to her family's business in the end. Overall rating: ★★★ Her abilities seem balanced for a fighter like she is, and her appearance is quaint. Her weapon is interesting and seems alright, although it seems inconvinient because of its semblance and limitations (namely the amount of arrows she carries). That being said, I feel as though her personality could use some tweaking, as well as her semblance. The points I mentioned about her backstory do not have to be addressed, but it would be great! I know that everyone feels some type of way when their characters are nitpicked. I do hope that my review did not offend you in any way! And I also hope it was helpful to you.- Onto the next character!-Bliss (P.S. You were right about the fan page. It's much more convenient!)