Talk:Dr. Alexander Nobel M.D./@comment-25924729-20190203061523

Right... I'll have to start this off with an apology and explanation. Upon reviewing  this OC for his latest pending submission I noticed a lot of issues, and upon asking the previous reviewer about it he admitted he didn't do a thorough job reviewing last time. So that review was revoked below. For that reason, I'll also have to be extra careful with this new review to pick out the problems, and a little harsh. So yeah.... On behalf of review staff, we're sorry for the confusion.

Appearance section.... His appearance itself is fine. But there is a part which says he knows the layout of most hospitals because he worked in one before. I find this kinda doubtful, pretty much every hospital is designed differently and the layout is vastly different. Working in one before isn't a justifiable reason to know how to navigate other hospitals. Also, this belongs in the abilities section instead of appearance imo.

Personality section is fine. I really like this type of character, reminds me of Makishima in Psycho Pass. Reading it gives you a really chaotic, yet deliberate and threatening vibe. Would be VERY fun to RP as or with.

His weapons are probably the most iffy part of the page, particularly the chemical bombs. His Miasma bombs are too powerful imo, aura does not protect against gases, so there's really no way to defend against confirmed death once hit. Having to wear a full hazmat suit into battle to counter it is too situational to be it's only weakness, there must be other weaknesses to it or ways for OCs to not immediately get killed fighting him.

I'm also very reluctant to allow the white phosphorus bombs, because of its ability to cause long term organ damage to its victims. Effects like that could possibly last long after a battle or RP with him is over, and force users to write a permanent disease into their OCs or put them out of commission for a long time. Again, this too is nearly impossible to avoid as it's a gas and takes effect once inhaled.

It would be a different story if these gases only caused short term damage, or can be cured, reasonably avoided or defended against. As it stands I can't allow these weapons unless they are severely nerfed.

I will also have to count his LIFELINE suit as a weapon instead of utility tool, as injecting hormones into the user does actively help them deal damage and gain a significant boost in combat. With this suit, plus the bazookas and syringes, he has 3 separate weapons and breaks the weapon limit rule. You will have to remove one.

Semblance seems alright, though there's a small error in the semblance section at the part mentioning a 6-10 limit of something. I assume that's time in minutes? That's alright if it is, just something I thought you should clarify.

Onto his backstory, i really don't like the redacted thing. It seems like more of an in character thing to censor names for safety reasons, but out of character, when users are reading the page to learn about your character it just makes it very difficult to read and confusing.

Another big problem in the backstory is him being the inventor of cryogenic technology in the RWBY universe, even to the point of his invention being implied to be the one used by Beacon to keep Amber alive. This breaks several rules. Firstly, that no characters are supposed to know about the Maiden's existence and Ozpin's conspiracy, there can be no rumours like that going around.

It also breaks the rule of canon interaction, by having him be the person that invented the very device that keeps Amber alive (Also, it's stated from an official source that Atlas invented that machine, so saying this OC is the inventor directly contradicts canon). Lastly, while OCs influencing the world's lore in small ways is acceptable, inventing a major technology like cryogenics is too much. It would fundamentally affect the show's canon lore too much and too disruptively to be allowed.

His general combat abilities and weaknesses seem okay, except for boring aura? I.... Don't understand what that's supposed to mean. Please explain. Otherwise, the relationships and trivia sections of the page are fine.

Overall, I still find him an extremely compelling and well written character. From the summaries of past RPs in his backstory, he looks like an absolute beast and fun villain. I personally have a soft spot for this type of character. He's great as a standalone, or as a villain I'm another series, but until changed, he just doesn't comply by the rules we have on this Wikia.

I'm sorry.

Rejected.

If you have any questions, please DM me on Wikia or Discord.

RP Moderation Team