Talk:Casper Bluthardt/@comment-13593058-20170613220153

 Casper Bluthardt Review

Appearance
Description of appearance present.

Personality
Point of personaility made.

Weapons and Abilities
Weapon rules followed. However, I have concern with the statement about airborne movement using the weapon. It simply doesn't make sense to me and it is not sufficiently explained in anyway. Grounds for rejection.

Semblance is okay but again, not enough detail, or rather, not how plasma works. What I am getting is that he can shape things with a set volume of plasma, however, making it different shapes or what not doesn't make it offensive or defensive in any sense. Plasma isn't solid so I'd like it if you specified what the plasma you mentioned is actully capable of doing.

The additional effect seems kind of weird as well, is it a cosmetic thing or is it actual armour? If it's the latter, Semblance seems to do too many things.

Grounds for rejection.

Backstory
Backstory has no contradictions, however, it contains way too many things to read up on which quickly makes it confusing. Not grounds for rejection as it could be worse, but an issue nonetheless.

Miscellaneous
 Colour reference acknowledged.

Verdict: Rejected
On the grounds of:

- Weapon capability inconsistency

- Semblance vagueness

Review Summary
I've mentioned most of the critical stuff in the sections but I'd like to reiterate one thing I find most annoying other than long backstories.

It's hyperlinks.

And I don't mean it's bad to have hyperlinks leading to a more detailed article. I mean having a hyperlink for an object or element without brief explanation in the same page so that the reader can have a general idea without jumping through hoops. This issue seems the most prevalent in OCs with many connections and it is just plain annoying to try and wrap my head around it. It's not as bad here but there ARE some instances of it.

Just keep in mind that with complexity in interconnectedness while assuming the reader is willing to dive into your world will most likely result in a very bad time.

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