Talk:Monsoon Cloud/@comment-27743663-20180131004953

CNR is present.

Appearance is, well, the base minimum is there. You also call him Prince Monsoon at one point, but no mention of him being a Prince anywhere else is on the page.

Personality is confusing, to say the least. All I really got from it is he's possessive of his sister, since the first paragraph is pretty nonsensical. For RP's, if you do anyway, that's gonna be real awkward for people who try to understand the character.

Weapon is pretty bare bones. It's a gun-sword, is about it. There's nothing more to understand from that, besides it can also not shoot bullets but also elemental bullets because dust. I'd just question why such an alloy exists, and if it exists why doesn't anyone else use it since. As it stands it's essentially just a SuperSpecialium.

Semblance, No. There's no real limitations described at all besides "it drains him real bad." Weather manipulation without any description at all is pretty broke. Essential limits and basic are needed, such as what weather effects he could cause, at what max radius, for how long, how powerful the effects are, etc.

Backstory needs more clarifications. Why was he at the market trading before he was even academy age, which could be assumed 13, so he's doing all this while under 13. More importantly, how is he even capable of that. What is Skull Academy even. How did he somehow manage to trick his sister (who was never mentioned up until this point in the backstory, so she just magically appears for the most part) that the Beacon exam was training, when it's all explained by Ozpin before everything even happens. Who is Jason.

As a whole, really just flesh everything about better before putting it back into pending.

So to recap if you're too lazy to read the whole thing.

Rejected on:

- Backstory needs fleshing

- Personality needs fleshing, really hard to understand who exactly he is besides "I'm obsessive about my sister"

- Semblance needs several limitations and more details

That's mostly it. The allow thing for Stormblade is odd, but I suppose it's not neccesairly rejectable since it's not like it's broken or anything.

~RP Moderation Team~