Talk:Day One at Beacon Academy: Chapter 1/@comment-5831327-20141104131744

This seems like a decent start. Nothing much happened, but nothing bad happeend either. I noticed that in the start of the main section, you started off in Zaffre's point of view for a few lines, and then quickly changed to Black seeing Zaffre, and this was pretty confusing. You also slipped into present tense a few times.

You seem to be touching Zaffre's character, so try to draw that out more. Keep it up.