Talk:Blood Raserei/@comment-22854550-20160328155318

As a writer and friend, Van, not as a formal review here, but Blood's character is so entrenched in the part of him that make him difficult to Accept that I'd seriously consider scrapping him. The kind of character I think you're trying to go for here is a difficult one to write and one that -- when fully realized -- can take over a lot of interactions with... well, angst, really. I havean OC like him (trigger warnings big time) that I RP avidly and never lose the muse for. If done correctly, playing this kind of character can be very rewarding.

I know you haven't asked for advice on personality and background stuff, but I'm gonna give it because despite the flaws, I can see him being salvageable.

What you have here is a mess. A huge, ridiculous mess. And I mean that in a good way. It's the type of character. Someone who has been through so much and endure so much pain and torment that on a some level they are very, very different from other people.

First of all, if you give me permission, I will gladly split up the background into more readable paragraphs without altering the content. Let's get that out of the way.

I'm going to use my OC that I linked above as an example here. He had a WOW BAD CHILDHOOD and WOW HEREDITARY EVIL RAISER SYNDROME. So much so that I'm not going to talk about it too much here due to triggers and such. Because of his unconventional upbringing, Sakarias does not have the same perceptions on things that others do. He doesn't see some work that others would see as unpleasant as distasteful. He sees no shame in a prostitute or being easy or anything like that, because to him, sex is... like socializing, almost. It's getting to know someone. He doesn't feel like he knows a person until he's been with them in bed.

However, once he got out of the environment he'd been raised in, he realized that other people don't like that. They find that invasive and crude. So he doesn't sleep around as much as he feels like he should. He's paranoid. He doesn't know what anyone's motivations are or what kind of person they are because he can only read people if he's seen them laid bare. He feels like he doesn't know people and people don't know him because something is wrong with him.

And that is the crux here. He feels something is horribly wrong with him but he can't let it show, so he puts on a mask.

I feel like the personality you have put for Blood here is his mask. Give me what lies beneath, and I don't want to read it as subtext in the background. What does he think about when he makes a mistake? Who does he blame for his shortcomings? Does he blame himself? The bullies? His biology? Is he proud to be a faunus? Is that pride only skin deep? Where does he fail and blame? Where does he channel his aggression? DOES HE FEEL LIKE HE IS A MONSTER?  Even if he knows he is not, does he doubt himself?

I mean, even over-confident edgelords have nightmares.

It takes more than one woman holding out a hand for someone to overcome a lifetime of torment and confusion. Its the things I just described that take a character and change from a one-dimensional edgelord to a sweet darling that everyone just wants to give hugs. While still being edgy, of course.

I mean there's so much edge here I think I could slice my hand open.

Now make the inside mushy. Because everyones' insides are mushy.

TL;DR:  Put the angst I'm seeing in his back story and put it in his personality. Instead of showing us, tell us clearly so we can stop seeing this beautiful, amazing little darling as just a ridiculous edgelord.

Admittedly, I had my doubts before. I think you can make this character amazing. I think you can make this my favorite character on the wiki. I think you can make me want to give Sakarias up there a RWBY AU and migrate him over here.

im just sayin ur character is like a blood soaked katana

i need u to whack him against a rock a few times and then i will accept this character like i hit accept on the terms & conditions ok