Talk:Messer Danam/@comment-14295500-20130813061959

Gday Torrent! I stumbled on Messer through the OC Challenge, so I thought I'd add my two cents.

The first thing I recommend is either embellish your characters appearance description or hook into a Flash Game Generator. http://gen8.deviantart.com/art/Chibi-Maker-1-1-346025144 or http://www.tektek.org/. Rwby is highly visual so we put a lot of emphasis on the originality and creativity in this aspect.

Another thing that you might look into aging Messer up a few years. I used to Sempai at a martial arts club, and I wouldn't trust a nine year old with a pez dispenser, let alone the discipline to be an effective martial artist. In writers terms its called broken Suspension of Disbelief, its me dusting my hands and saying, 'I don't believe it, I can't empathise with Messer, I'm walking!" You said it yourself, he finds it hard to be serious. If you said he was twelve instead of nine I'd be more accepting. Twelve year old boys are always bragging and scuffling, they're fighting more for their independence and it's when kids stop mimicking and really start learning through trial and error.

Another thing that stops me is the 'winning all the fights!' part. Winning all the time is boring. Realistically We don't learn from winning, we learn most from failure. One of my favourite quotes comes from Jackie Chan discussing why he dislikes western action movies. 'In real life we lose and we lose and we lose until we win the battles that matter. That's what gives victory it's meaning."

Otherwise he's an interesting character. I love that he has the support of his family, too many abused orphan OCs out there, and the fact he found his weapon. The spring load was a detail that really sparked my interested. I'd love to see that come back and bite him, eg prone to snagging because of their age, or because of his less that formal education. Flaws make the writing and the characters interesting! that means there's room for growth and we can follow that journey.

Cheers and good luck in the Challenge!