Talk:Alizarin Capri/@comment-24296957-20151215025041

(cough) Ryan (cough)

Alrighty, let's get down to it. First off, the whole...'most notorious gangster in all of Vale' title goes to Roman Torchwick. Can't beat canon on that front, that should be altered. While he can be a gangster and be kinda sorta known, not in the fashion you present him.

Also, starting a gang from that young? Seems very...offsetting. Might as well just say he joined a different one that happened to have their sights on the Mad King. That needs to be clarified/changed.

Now...for the weapon - let's get into details. A Tommygun usually fires either a 9mm or a 10mm round, stored in a drum mag (which that capacity should be dropped down to 35), and easy to break down and conceal. What you have here might be the latter, but certainly not the former. There's no logical way a sub-machine gun can fire things like that. You might as well just have the traps in a separate container or looped on a utility belt, not fired from the gun - and have the gun itself shoot regular bullets laced with Dust for different elemental effects.

Semblance is ok, generic, but ties in to the way he fights.

However, I do not see any sort of relation to a color in his first name. That, and other things, are rejectable. So until these things are corrected,

Rejected.

--RP Moderation Team--

Also, generic 'Left-to-die-sit-in-darkness-because-edge-and-I-have-a-short-temper' OC. Not that it's a bad thing, just seen a lot of these guys.