Talk:Ash Westwind/@comment-24087318-20150617001356

5 o'clock shadow at....18 years of age? Alright then.

First issue I see, beyond the little age mismatch above. He applied to Beacon, but exactly *what* credentials does he have to earn a spot in it? No previous formal Huntsmen training of any sort. It's listed he's done "Mercenary" work, but doesn't highlight what kind or where or any of that sort of thing. Keep in mind as well, most Huntsmen in training don't even see live Grimm combat until they're at Beacon level training. Something "Mercenary" would absolutely need to be explained, especially if the character did it BEFORE Beacon, and was the reason why they even got in.

His Semblance, while not particularily an issue, has something in it you may want to think about. As we've seen with Blake, her Shadow Semblance can be augmented and altered with Dust, causing particular elemental effects differing from the normal Semblance. You could have his Glyphs be more kinetic/concussive in nature by default, and then augmented with different Dust types for additional effects. Wind Dust giving the one you've currently listed. Just a thought to add a bit more diversity/strategy really.

For the first part however, Rejected.

~RWBY Fanon Review Deputy~