Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-27603392-20140704110526/@comment-24481083-20140715022215

What the hell. Might as well do this.

Tianee Musk

Appearance, in so far appears to be very well detailed, even to the point of describing scars in locations that generally people don't seem to be very much concerned about i.e the three scars on the waist. I like how emphasised her affinity to deers are, so much so that the allusion itself is repeated about 3 times. Nice. Her overall outfit corelates well with her personality, a nicely added touch, especially since the color blue is generally refered to be a 'calm' color, and that lighter touch of it being Teal gives way to her youth and it's fallacy. I see what you did there.

Personality wise. I honestly cannot find anything too wrong about it, except that...It's very cliche. Typical cute girl with trust issues and wanting to be noticed. Sure she's smart, and that stubbornedness is there, but it doesn't hide the fact that over all, a very lazy attempt in her personality, and given her detailed description of her appearance, I'm slightly let down. I hope you see what I'm getting into here.

1. She's a cute young girl. Her appearance pretty much sums that up.

2. She's the person who is kind.

3. Doesn't like anyone who teases her.

4. Stubborn.

5. Strives to become mature in the face of everyone.

6. Naive. Shy. Inexperienced. Her personality gives us that she's the person that helps people alot so long as they don't tease her.

Combine everything, and what do you get? A copy-paste attempt of an Anime Kawai Character. Really now, buck up.

Her history certainly explains where she got her antlers and her cuts. Fine. How she got the affinity for deers. Alright. How she got into Beacon Academy. Hmmp. It's a good story, Broken Antlers, I won't deny it. But under the circumstances, I'm really not convinced as to that singular act of defiance gave her passage to Beacon. Sure, she fights an Ursa, survives and is somewhat rescued by a Hunter. But immediately after that, she gets an offer to join a prestigious school made to teach kids to kill. What? It seems a tad bit....easy don't you think, if simply killing an Ursa gave her passageway into a school known for its prestigious nature? If that's the case, why aren't there more students in Beacon? If that's all it takes, killing an Ursa. Okay, she killed it with a knife, so? Bet you, anything can be killed with a knife. This seems to be a rather ordinary explanation as to how she got into an extraordinary school. It's a good story, undeniable. But it just doesn't seem to make any much sense in the Universe. I'm getting the impression that you immediately thought of this story, didn't bother to think any further than that and decided just because it looked good, it's going to be how she was accepted into Beacon, with some splashes as to how she got her affinity for deers.

Weapons. What fun. A trident/Harpoon gun/Mechanical Claw? Nice, original, smart. Works well with her fishing/hunting background. It's not ridiculously simple or complicated, but has its own uniqueness. Nice. Oh, and sweet touch with that death move. Though, I'm not so fine with the name. Ocean Thorn? Pardon me, but that sounds more suitable for a character with a naval background, not just mere fishing trips. Work that up if you will, it simply seems out of touch with her background. Other than that, fine work with the weapon.

Abilities...I'll summarise what you just wrote there. Glass Canon. She can handle opponents physically due to her strength (Surprising due to her personality, but it's okay.) She's flexible, adaptable and most importantly knows the value of staying alive to fight another day. She can't take any form of punishment for extended periods of time, and isn't speedy, but is countered by her sensitive senses which, being an actual hunter (Catch-to-kill-for-food-hunter that is), is a given fact. So in a combative situation, she's generally expected to be the damage dealer, with a small helping of a support due to her weapon's claw like nature, but must actively move to survive. I see nothing wrong with that. Moving on.

Semblance. Ahh...Rush. A simple dash at high speeds. But, don't normal humans do that already? I get it, she uses her aura to propel herself forward. But really, couldn't she just do that with her physical strength? Granted, it won't go as far or as fast as she would like, but if this is really your excuse for a semblance, I highly suggest that you find another one, because this Rush, it's a goddamn lazy excuse of a semblance. Nothing profoundly wrong with it, mind you. It's just too....easy. And it's got no drawbacks that's visibly mention. Does that mean she can Rush enemies over and over again, with the trigger being she only needs to stab someone? Awfully simple for a character who could use much overhaul with her story and personality.

Side note here, if her name Musk is to allude to a shade of brown, why oh why is her primary colour teal? I know we're supposed to make a character who's name gives meaning to, refers to or makes you think of a colour, but if you really want her primary color to be teal, why not change her last name from Musk to something that emphasises on Teal, rather than confusing people with a Shade of Brown? It's a minor thing, but really, a wrong is a wrong regardless how small it is.

To come to a conclusion, what we have is a very excellently detailed character in terms of one thing. Her appearance. Other than that, her personlity is a Copy-Paste work of any Anime Female Character, her background is a shade too unbelievable when we speak of entrance to a perstigious school and who's semblance is a last minute thought of, hey, this could help her with her mobility issues, so let's slap that in here with a quick explanation as to how it occurs, no drawbacks and simple triggers. Her weapon design is good, but may use a little more explanation as to how it works. Is it Dust powered or simply a highly mechanised weapon? How strong is it? What's its maximum weight it can drag, or what materials it can't pierce? These things help with the character's balancing issues if need be, but in so far she's a Glass Cannon tried and true. It's as if you cared more for her appearance then weapon, then personlity, history and then semblance in that order.

Therefore, I do hereby sentence Tianee Musk, unacceptable for my above reasons.

Denied