Talk:Angelica Lucille Ravencroft III/@comment-30530552-20171110184237

Let's take a look here.

You could definitely do for adding the character template to the page, it helps with organization, I find. If you need help doing so, feel free to ask someone, as most people know how to insert them.

CNR needs to be noted in the Trivia section, though the basis can be made pretty easily.

Appearance is, for the most part, okay. I question the plausibility of fish gills (I've been debating making a character with them myself), and so I'll bring it up with another reviewer and get their opinion on it.

You haven't really touched on her personality at all, and what you did include in that section instead was her backstory, which can be put on the page as a completely separate category. And since you put her backstory there, I'll say it now: it's much too short and doesn't give me any info whatsoever about her. I can guess that she's from or her family originates from Menagerie and she lives in Mistral, but that's about it.

Fixing your page's category formatting as a whole would be beneficial, as it feels like the info is jumping all over the place.

The weapon I find a bit unbelievable. It's one thing to be a mechanical replacement limb (such as with Yang, Mercury, or Ironwood), but you've also made it so she has, effectively, sustained flight from her weapons, which is against the site guidelines. Plus, they're grafted into her back, which is both impractical for what she does, would inevitably burden day to day activities, and would most likely be extremely painful.

Semblance doesn't really have enough information to be accepted, for one thing, but also constitutes intangibility, which counts as auto-dodge - which is also against site rules.

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Overall, while I go check the plausibility of fish gills, you have a lot of things to work on in the meantime to get this page accepted sooner rather than later.

-Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~