Talk:Tenebris Mordre/@comment-25924729-20190602082155

Considering his previous iteration, and working off the Fish's previous review below, this guy is looking a lot better~

Appearance and Personality sections seem alright. A bit basic, could use more details and explanation but thats more of a writing quality thing, not rejectable.

Onto his backstory, one small issue: It still mentions a violet eye power near the beginning. I understand that this is a leftover of a previous idea you scrapped, maybe you missed this one bit, just thought to point it out so you can remove it. Aside from that no real issue. I do like the portrayal of a person becoming a Huntsman but still having vulnerable moments and having to rely on his teacher for comfort when the job gets too much for him. Its honestly a unique idea. Maybe split the backstory into paragraphs next time to make it easier to read.

Onto his combat abilities and weapons. Stat wise he seems pretty okay. His weapons seem workable in concept too, but need more details about their limits. Stuff like how far the crossbow can shoot, how muh ammo he has (or in this case, how many energy bolts he can create maximum), power or damage it can do. Since his sword is made of a special alloy, how strong is it? Does it have any unique properties? Answering questions like these make it easier to gauge his strength.

Same goes for his semblance. limits should be established like how far or how slow he can make an object, time limits he can use the ability, range or area it affects, and weaknesses or ways to counter it etc.

Its also here there's the biggest problem i can find in his page, the ability to accelerate things until thier atoms break apart... is honestly VERY OP. The sheer speed needed to break apart atomic bonds is insanely high, not sure of the exact amount, but will still be waaay to much, especially if he can accelerate other stuff at such speeds too, (ie, firing a crossbow bolt faster than the speed of light)

Im not a physics expert, from asking around, severing atomic bonds like that also potentially either vaporizes something instantly, or straight up causes nuclear fission, which means getting hit with his black energy would either erase a person from existence at the molecular level, or blast them with the effect of a nuke at point blank range. Both of which are too powerful to allow.

Basically, he needs to have defined limits on the speed he can accelerate objects, and the top speed should be kept fairly low. Definitely no breaking apart atoms and stuff.

Aside from these, nothing else to note. CNR checks out, no problems in the trivia and relationships section. Yeah... its a huge improvement, but needs just a few more fixes before hes acceptable.

Rejected.

If you have any questions, please DM me on Wikia or Discord.

-RP Moderaion Team-