Talk:Jya'tohtah Wakanyan/@comment-24678303-20160426233002

Okay, once more unto the fray!

One thing i noticed in the description is that you mention that Owl Faunus are rare among the Avian Faunus, but i'm not so sure about that. But, i digress. Quick note, i personally do not reccomend putting down Unknown into infobox fields, as it tends to create some misconceptions. Instead, just leave them blank until you find something to put there. Not really points of rejection, but just quick notes i made.

Oookay, backstory. It was going pretty good up until the second half of the second to last paragraph. So, he went on a straight up berzerker rampage on all these things and it took Adam and the Lt to take him down?? I don't think so. And, that wouldn't be too much of an issue if it weren't for what came after that. There is no way Raven would take this random dude and shelter him or nurse him back to health. Too much Canon-Fanon interaction, mang. 'And there is no way she'd mention something as secretive as the Maidens even if she did. 'There's a VERY GOOD REASON that the Oz-Crew kept them under such tight wraps.

Then, going down further, the Semblance is listed as having power that rivals that of Maidens??? Yeahno. Regardless of drawbacks, that is not allowed. Like, at all. Speaking of, i went back up to the backstory to one segment that bothered me. The maelstorm that started in the village. If that was a Semblance, then that falls under the same lines as this one. Beyond that, he Semblance seems to straight up be airbending that has had the aggression jacked up to 11. Also, do you know how feathers work? Because, uhh, forcibly removing feathers to use as projectiles would be like ripping out very large hairs, methinks. Plus, he'd be running out of feathers that would take a while to grow back every time he used it in a fight. Next, Semblances cannot be used to fly.

Going a bit further down, i see that you address his power. Now, it's all fine and dandy to have a character who's good on their own, but limits still very much apply to them just as much as any other character who is on a team. Being a lone wolf if no excuse for them to be overpowered.

Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~