Talk:Diana Grey/@comment-24678303-20150713171435

For starters, if you put a CharBox in the page, put it at the TOP of the page, or else it destroys the formatting.

The appearance...To be blunt, it is not creative in the least bit. Even if their color is grey, there's plenty you could do in terms of clothing and things without being bland and giving them a t-shirt, open jacket and skirt. I'll direct you to this helpful guide now.

Moving on, the personality...Is a single sentence. Seriously. This doesn't tell me anything about them. What would they do in certain situations? How would they do in combat? Just saying they're anti-social and avoid people doesn't tell us anything.

The backstory is filled with angst. She was being ignored when picked on, so ran away, and of course was still ignored. Having nowhere to go, she was picked up by some guy and started being trained to become a child soldier, not as a huntress, but a Merc. I can't tell you how many times i've seen this done. This is also touched upon in the aforementioned guide.

You state what the weapon is, but not what it DOES. I can't tell you if it's OP or not if i don't even know what it does, and i'm not a fan of guesswork. Same thing for the Fighting Style. You don't say /what/ they can do with these abilities, just that they have them. Expand upon this more so we actually know what your character does.

The Semblance...I'm going to say no to the whole idea. For one, that'd just get them killed in combat, since they'd just be easy pickings as a lifeless body while their spirit does who knows what. Furthermore, you don't even say what it is capable of in the first place, so  "changing its effects with dust" doesn't have any meaning.

Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~