Talk:Kasumi Gallota/@comment-24487330-20140201213421

Now here's an interesting character. Here are some things that stood out to me personally; I hope you find these comments useful.

Others might consider Kasumi a wanna-be, given her popularity as an actress, but that'll make their comeuppance all the sweeter as she develops into a more capable fighter. That quote at the top does a good job setting the stage for that particular type of development, among other possibilities.

Appearance section: The profile does a great job in describing the character in absence of illustration, but the phrase about her weapon's visibility is a bit confusing for those who haven't read up on the weapon itself yet. Might I suggest simplifying that phrase to prevent such confusion? Example: "...long-sleeved shirt, she usually conceals her weapons under her sleeves in hidden-blade form." (By the way, feel free to use this quote for yourself, if you so desire, along with any other that I suggest in this comment.)

Personality section: The idea of a shifting personality is a great idea for Kasumi, coming off of a career as an actress. Like my comment about the Appearance section, though, I think you might benefit from generalizing the part about how her behavior changes with her weapon's form in combat. I'd also place it at the end of the first paragraph, as the concept of her adaptability sounds like it'd relate to her "switching personas". Here's how I'd type it: "...mere minutes of practice. By the same coin, her behavior in combat can also change at a moment's notice, adopting a more analytical, aggressive, or flirtatious attitude based on which of her weapon's three forms she's using."

Weapon section: Now, about the weapon itself. The idea of basing its forms on those that she's used over her cinematic career is an entertaining concept, to say the least. It seems a bit unusual that Triple Threat can have three different forms, but then again, Sun Wukong's weapon has three forms and functions, so it's not entirely out of the question.

Semblance section: The use of water fits very well with the idea of multiple key abilities available with Kasumi's Semblance.

NOTE: I begin to sense a theme by this point: it seems that just about every part of Kasumi's profile features some manner of dependence on her weapon's form. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I'd advise not letting it get out of hand. There might be times when her weapon isn't available, so make sure that she develops some depth outside the influence of Triple Threat for those instances. On the flip-side, making the weapon out as a defining tether of her characteristics in combat and having her become somewhat unstable and unpredictable in its absence would make an incredibly interesting character flaw...

Backstory section: This is where my interest in Kasumi is sealed. As noted with one of your other characters, Kasumi's history is given a great amount of depth right away and gives readers a good idea of how she became the character she is at present. The section does a great job depicting the evolution of a helpless little girl from humble beginnings into a versatile and capable Huntress candidate.

Final verdict: There are a few places where I might change the diction of a detail or two, but other than those points, I think Kasumi's a solid character with a lot of thought put into her design. In my opinion, her profile as it is deserves nothing less than 9/10.