Talk:Ririi/@comment-14295500-20130818210727

G'day Cero, I wandered over from the contest! Let's have a look at Ririi...

Layout wise, I approve of tabs when used well. I do recommend adding a Sidebar for her Profile overview. Unfortunately you also lose my attention by using game art and not free source Flash Games like Chibimaker http://gen8.deviantart.com/art/Chibi-Maker-1-1-346025144 or http://www.tektek.org/ Taking game art means there's no creativity, none of your stamp. You're sacrificing originality and self expression for a pretty picture. Leaving us with her Appearance description is a far better choice than art theft.

Personality also needs some expansion. I mean, her appearance is longer. Also her personality is conflicting, Type A personalities are workaholics and so aren't laid-back. Research will go a long way to form a cohesive personality. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Type_A_and_Type_B_personality_theory

Once you've decided which she is, expand it. How does it affect her social life? How does it affect her in battle. Give us two or three chunky, descriptive paragraphs so we can really get a feel for her.

Her clawed weapons are great and fit with the patterns of RWBY, having a fire crystal gives her a bit of extra umph and creativity. But I'm dead against her affinity with beowolves, considering how little we know about them and how unlikely this is within the canon.

I see that you have a handful of characters but perhaps some quality over quantity and take the time to flesh out each one into a full persona.

Cheers!