Talk:Vincent Raven/@comment-24487330-20140207035704

Here's what I thought when I reviewed this profile. As usual, these comments are meant to help you, so if anything comes across as harsh or even unclear, please let me know.

Appearance section: this looks good, but I'd suggest keeping physical traits and outfit traits in separate groups for the sake of cleanliness.

Personality section: the whole "stand-off-ish absolute bulwark" character seems rather popular in this particular fanon, but what sets this guy apart is that he faces his Despair Event Horizon upon his wife's death and basically goes AWOL. If you ask me, that's the most realistic transformation you could see in someone who experiences that kind of loss, and it makes him that much more credible than the average character. One thing I noticed: I believe the word "confidant", near the start of the second paragraph, should be spelled "confident". [/spellingfreak]

Abilities section: I imagine most Huntsmen and Huntresses find their niche in combat and hone it to perfection, but Vincent's niche, interestingly, is in versatility; instead of focusing on sword/gunplay, he branches out to other forms of weaponry, including improvised weapons. (By the way, props for the well-played MadWorld reference; Jack Cayman is a freaking beast.) You wouldn't expect this from a student character, but then again, Vincent is an established Huntsman, so of course he'd have the time to develop said versatility.

Backstory section: This is a personal gripe, so don't lose too much sleep over it, but I think there's a bit too much going for Vincent before Eliza's death. The guy comes from a famous house of warriors, has incredible skill even by their standards, and so far as we can tell, he basically wanted for nothing. Now, I'm not trying to say that it never happens, or that it shouldn't happen, but it's not quite as interesting to me as, say, watching a character work their way to the top of the proverbial food chain from humble beginnings. Now, on the other hand, after his wife dies, the subsequent Face-Heel Turn that brings everything he's had crumbling down around him makes for the start of a great tragedy, with tons of potential for a triumphant comeback in the future. Whether his triumph is earned in righteous, manly glory or angsty, justified rage is up to you, but if you do plan for him to come back, I'm sure anything you come up with will be worth reading into.

Weapon section: Suggest putting it with Abilities, blah blah blah. You've heard that song before. What's worth noting is that Reaping Shadow is well-balanced for a weapon, even in the slightest details. The rapier has limited reach but can fold easily into its gun form, the gun fires potent ice-imbued shots but has limited range and a maximum ammo capacity for its wielder. The potential restrictions resulting from these balancing factors serve to emphasize the importance of adaptability in Vincent's fighting style, which is what he's all about. Whether you meant it that way or not, it makes too much sense to not bring up.

Overall, there's nothing inherently wrong with this character, but there's quite a bit to like about him; I may have my personal reservations about his backstory, but I don't think it's absolutely evil or deal-breaking, so please don't think that I think he's a bad character by any means. Given all of the development he's had so far and the potential for more in the future, I'd say he's well-deserving of a 10/10. I look forward to seeing what becomes of him if he ever steps back into the limelight.