The Trouble with Boredom

NOTE: The following may or may not be considered an AU piece, but none of my RPs are updating, and... well, see the title.

Theme Music!

Chapter 1 - We had to start somewhere...
The rain was coming down like God and Monty Oum were having another DDR competition, and the track of the evening was Paranoia Hades. Never had I been more glad to have a nice, dry roof over my head and a nice, dry martini in my hand. I checked the clock, wondering when the appointments for the day would show up, and I could start with what I called my job. 7:59. It was too quiet, something was missing.

"I'm here, sir," a timid little voice floated in from under the door. There we go. Miss Scarlatina, my secretary. She was a couple minutes late from her usual check-in. Probably some street trash poking fun at her ears as if she hadn't had enough problems in life. I'd have liked nothing more than to reduce some of them to cheap mystery meat, but Velvet insisted she was a grown woman and could handle things herself.