User blog:Trogdor7620/In Regards to My Self-Insertion Fic...

I figured that since I've shown the wiki something that was a canon scene with my OC in it, I might as well show everyone a scene that was made up on the fly. So here is my OC devising a "landing strategy", as well as how he meets up with Yang and Blake. Also of note is the Trauma conga line he suffers.

I had to establish how out of his element he is in Remnant.

Excerpt From Story
'OhcrapohcrapohcrapOHCRAP!'

Damn my stinking memory! I'd completely forgotten about initiation. Including how students were dropped into the forest. Flying through the air, arms and legs uselessly flailing in panic, I tried to find a way to the ground that didn't involve me becoming a pasty red mess spattered on the Emerald Forest.

I managed to spy a tree, taller than most, and thought of something. Immediately, I pulled a drawstring arrow out of my quiver, and cocked it into my right crossbow. Aiming, I let fly at the tall tree, hoping it would make a good anchor.

A second later, my right arm was nearly wrenched from my body, and my course of flight changed. Screaming in pain and terror, I could only watch as I circled the tree uncontrollably, once, twice, three times, drawing closer to the trunk. Right before I hit the tree, I felt a cable slip over my body, and as I slammed into the wooden monument, I found out that somehow, I had managed to tie myself to the tree, seven stories from terra firma.

'Something tells me I did not think this through...' I whispered to myself. As I futilely struggled against my own bindings, I heard gunshots reverberate through the forest, and creatures roaring. While the logical thing to do was to stay up here and wait till the danger had passed, a part of me wanted to get down to the ground and help slay monsters.

Fortunately for me, my left forearm managed to escape being entangled, and I still had the weapon ready. Flicking the blades forward, making a double edged sword, I tried to reach up to the wire that imprisoned me, and attempted to cut it. The first time, I only ended up grazing my shoulder. The second, a part of the wire had managed to fray.

'Come on, come on...' I muttered to myself. And with one final swipe, the wire snapped in two, releasing me.

'YES!' I let out a triumphant yell. But as I looked down, I realised another part I had not thought about: getting to the ground. As I fell, I impacted on a tree branch, causing it to snap. I continued to fall, slamming stomach first on another branch. It, too, broke from the tree, and I continued falling. As I angled myself upright, I managed to get another branch, this time hitting me in the... special place.

A strangled screech escaped my lips, quickly giving way to a loud roar of pain I assumed could be heard from a kilometer away. The pain burning in that region made me wonder two things: first, why I had not thought of anything beyond firing the cable arrow. And the second thing that flashed through my mind was the question that Remnant offered testicle transplants.

Frozen in pain, I slid off of the branch which had robbed me of the chance to ever have kids, only to be tangled in vines, caught in them like a net. As I descended down to the ground, I saw two people approaching: one with golden hair, and another with black hair.

'You know, that Ursa wasn't that tough. I could have taken him.'

'Still, that Ursa had it's attention focussed on you. I had a shot. I had to take it.'

Blake and Yang. Clearly they had taken down the Ursa, and were now looking for the temple. They hadn't seen me yet, so I somehow had to get their attention.

'Hey, ladies? Little help here?' I tried to speak, but all that emerged was a muffled voice: a large vine had been caught in my mouth, too large and wedged in too deep for me to spit out. Plus my hands were also entangled in vines, so I couldn't grip the plant that had invaded that particular orifice.

'Blake, you hear something?' Yang had stopped, readying Ember Celica. She was looking around, trying to find the source of the noise. Blake also looked around, her hand wrapped around the hilt of Gambol Shroud.

'Yes. It's faint, but I think I heard...' Blake trailed off, looking around. She drew her sword, and cocked it into it's pistol mode. I grew worried: if they thought I was a Grimm, I would be dead.

<p class="Body">Suddenly, out of the bushes in front of the pair, a Beowolf lunged at the two women. They rolled out of the way, and fired their weapons at the monster. It shrugged the rounds off like it was nothing, and continued to charge. Yang managed to nail the beast with an uppercut, then sent it flying with a right hook, into the underbrush, where it turned tail and fled, whimpering.

<p class="Body">'Yeah, that's right. You'd better run!' Yang taunted. She turned to leave, and Blake followed suit. I sighed. They hadn't heard me at all. Now I was trapped, and forced to wait until the next human came along. Or a Grimm, which would think of me as nothing more that a pi<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family:"Arial Unicode MS","sans-serif";mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri">ñ ata.

<p class="Body">My thoughts were interrupted, when I heard a swift slicing sound, and fell to the ground, still somewhat entangled in the vines. Immediately, I reached for the one trapped in my mouth, and yanked it out, gasping for air as I did so. Blake stood over me, retrieving her weapon from the tangle of vines that I lay in. Yang stood over her shoulder, a wide grin on her face.

<p class="Body">'Well, this is a vine state of affairs.' She snickered. Were I not nursing my balls, which still ached from the tree branch's impact...

<p class="Body">'God. Dammit. Yang.' I growled, cupping my testicles in my right hand. Blake knelt down, and studied me closely. Finally, she stood up.

<p class="Body">'You're fine. You just need to walk it off.' She said, with no emotion in her voice. And with those words, she walked off into the woods. Yang stayed behind, and offered a hand to help me up. I took it with my free hand, and got to my feet. That was when I noticed that my weapons had slipped off of my arms.

<p class="Body">'Oh, come on! Could this day get any worse?' I yelled, punching the tree I had tied myself to in the first place, causing it to shake slightly. As the tree rustled, I heard a series of clinks and clonks. Looking up, I saw my weapons for a split second, as they fell from the tree right towards my head.

<p class="Body">'Oh, son of a...'