Talk:Shuiro Niavera/@comment-30530552-20170708025819

Alright, let's have a look at your friend here.

CNR checks out. While not required, for furture reference I recommend linking your sources, because it makes our reviewing job a little bit easier. :P

Appearance is fine. Interesting how his main color is silver as opposed to red, considering vermillion's a red pigment, but you're free to do as you please there. Faunus trait is noted.

Personality works.

Weaponry is mostly fine, save for the scythe blades. Ozpin mentioned in Volume 1 that scythe-wielders of good skill are quite rare, so I would advise taking out the tri-blade aspect. The rest of your main weapon is fine. As for the side daggers, there's been no evidence in-canon to suggest that Dust-absorption from weapons is possible. While not impossible, I would advise removing the Rune aspect altogether, partially because of the in-canon reason I just offered, and because if you changed it to simple Dust storage, I believe it goes against rules for secondaries.

Semblance could use some more detail, albeit I'm not seeing anything rejectable there. Semblance's weaknesses could probably be at least briefly mentioned in the Semblance section, but that's not a huge issue.

Backstory, my first word of advise is to change the formatting so it's not one big inscription, but a few distinct paragraphs, if possible. That way, reading will be much easier for anybody who visits this page. As for the backstory itself, it's okay...and given how much training you say he went through, not attending a lower level combat school like Sanctum or Signal seems plausible enough. I do question why he decided to go to Beacon and not Haven, however. And plus, if this is referring to current day, you'll have to deal with the canon aspects Volume 3 brought to light.

Overall, you've got a good start here. Just work on the issues I've outlined and you're character will be acceptable in no time.

-Rejected on: Scythe-aspect on main weapon, enchanted secondaries, lack of detail for Semblance, & potential canon conflict in backstory

~RP Moderation Team~

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