Talk:Yami Espoir 'Underwood' Mayfield/@comment-13593058-20160716023516

 A Review of Yami Espoir Mayfield

Appearance
Nothing technical to note.

Personality
Point of personality made, nothing major to note.

Weapons and Abilities
Weapon rules followed.

Semblance does not follow the summoning rule correctly; grounds for rejection.

Backstory
Acceptable, but questionable, inconsistent, and above all. hard to read.

Same goes for equipment.

Multiple grounds for rejection.

Miscellaneous
 Colour reference checks out but would appreciate a source for non-weeaboo reviewers.

 Source: am weeaboo

Verdict: Rejected
On the grounds of:

- Semblance cannot function without some sort of physical fuel

- Weapon origin missing

- Poor rhetoric

Review Summary
 Let's start with the glaring issues that prevent this character from being accepted first. These include the Semblance and weird backstory.

 For one, the Semblance treads the the Summoning rule where something is being produced out of thin air without any sort of fuel or explaination.

<p style="font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:1em;font-size:16px;line-height:26px;"> "Aura is the fuel!" you say. Okay sure, but if the attack is going to drain your Aura anyway, why don't you just skip the shield and just tank it with the natural Aura coat?

<p style="font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:1em;font-size:16px;line-height:26px;"> The second concerns the backstory where she seemingly is abandoned after the death of her grandmother and thus is forced to live in an orphanage for a good portion of her life. Okay, sure, but what kind of brother or family member that I am to assume cares for her and her, him, will allow such a thing to happen.

<p style="font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:1em;font-size:16px;line-height:26px;"> "The brother is detached." Okay, fine, but why would he even tell her about his missions if they weren't close?

<p style="font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:1em;font-size:16px;line-height:26px;"> Another inconsistency regards the origins of the Semblance and Weapon Construction. She just showed to trying to find her brother but some how has her Semblance unlocked already? Was she in school? When did she unlock her Aura/Semblance? Timeline is strange.

<p style="font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:1em;font-size:16px;line-height:26px;"> And perhaps the most personal matter is about the poor rhetoric of the whole profile or simple "the sentences are structured badly. Now I am not saying Yami is a bad character in any way, but that the profile is very hard to read due to repetitive words and sentences or disconnected ideas and thoughts than really break the immersion of the read.

<p style="font-weight:normal;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> If you require assistance in the matter, please feel free to ask other Fanon members for help. If you believe there to be a misunderstanding or mistake, please contact me via message wall or another reviewer.