Talk:Sapphyre Nilshikha/@comment-27603392-20140724132609

(Before we start, I think there is some coding error in your page. I'll fix them if you want to)

Appearance wise, not much for me to nitpick. The artwork helps visualize it better, so it's a bonus.

Personality: A bit too much on the details. If she is cheerful, outspoken and often cheer up her friend, why would she complain to them about mutual problem. But other than that, it's well written, and still give the character enough room to move around.

Weapon: A rather unique idea, having blades that can be bent. However, I question if Sapphyre has to bend them using her hand, or will it automatically bend itself upon switching between two forms. Another thing I'd like to know is what type of Dust does her arrow has. I know there are characters who uses all types of Dust, but it'd be good if it's being specific.

Semblance: It's a bit pushing it, because it involves an unpredictable element, and the way you word it makes the Semblance a bit too RPG-like. Please note that Semblance cannot be offensive or semi-offensive either, and it has to sync with the character and their's battle style.

Ability: Not too overpowering, so I'll give it a pass.

Backstory: Nothing in her backstory stands out too much. However, I'd like to know more about her family's business which, to me, need to be furtherly describe since it affects Sapphyre's character directly. In here, we don't really allow close contact with canon character and organization (Other than the teachers in Beacon), but with what is in the backstory, it's in a gray area at the moment.

Normally other reviewers would reject for having a canon-breaking Semblance, but I'd like to see how you change it, so I'll neither reject or accept them for the time being. Please notify me by replying to this comment after you've finished editing the character, and I'll take another look.