Talk:Jeremiah Rust/@comment-24911350-20140603162718

--Requested Review--

This one seems more luckluster compared to the others. Firstly, unless his name is intentionally spelled that way, it's "Jeremiah", with an E, not A.

His colour seems like an injected contrivance. Nothing about him relates to it, except for his shirt.

His weapons present a big problem, namely that he can't be much of a marksman. Having them on gauntlets would limit the barrel length to the length of his forearm at most, and arms shake, whether you've trained or practiced, or like it or not. The very act of firing the weapons would change the trajectory because of muscle movement. They'd be good for short-mid range, but weapons like those are simply incapable of functioning accurately enough to be called a marksman's weapons.

And I'm really starting to wonder what the point is of all the separate, future profiles. It's all the exact same stuff, maybe rearranged, or with some weak differences. In this case, it's an entirely separate page to convey the additional information that he likes bacon, his combat gear is insulated, and some info on his weapon and training. I'd really recommend thinking about combining the separate pages of all your characters, because it doesn't contribute anything.