Talk:Thomas Duloc/@comment-27743663-20161217032019

CNR, being Color name rule, isn't there. The name Thomas (if it does somehow relate to a color), isn't noted anyway. If it does somehow have one, note it in the trivia.

Appearance, having a blank jeans + extra appearance, wouldn't really make him stand out. Solely for the reason, there are quite literally dozens of other OC's that practically wear the same thing. IIt wouldn't make him stand out in the slightest. Just a note though.

Personality, well it's fine, it's just what's mentioned there. Fanon-Canon interaction isn't really allowed, unless it's for small things. What's noted iiiiiiisn't really a small thing.

Backstory, there's no mention of his father being a Hunter or a civilian, and in the former case, he needs a certain level of skill to apply to Beacon given its status. I don't really see it here and find it hard to believe. Fanon-Canon is approached again n several cases, particularly with founding out the truth of the Fall of Beacon, and Adam.

For skills, I have trouble believing a 17 year old has the capability to run 5 miles straight. Sprinting. At 17 MPH. Even if it's noted he's trained for years, that's still absurd since years would translate to about the time he was still a child. If you have some evidence to prove otherwise though, argue for it. I ain't an expert.

Weapons are fine.

Semblance, needs to have demerits. There's nothing stopping him from having it on all the time to have his stats raised. Does it take aura? Does it have a time-limit? What's the cool-down? How long can he keep it up? As a note too, removing pain will be a bad thing as well, since as it's noted for broken limbs, he won't be able to use them or notice potentially mortal wounds that need healing.

Tl;dr

Rejected on:

- Lack of CNR

- Fanon-Canon interaction

- Backstory lacking appropiate mention of skill required

- Dexterity/Endurance limit

- Semblance lacks demerits.

Really, before trying again, I'd give these a read since you did, you could have avoided half of these.

~RP Moderation Team~

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