Talk:Rubrum Vermillion/@comment-17970636-20151119024612

Alright, interesting first OC, however, a few discrepancies so let's take care of that shall we?

First thing which'll get this thing rejected without even reading much of it is that there's no "Trivia" section with how the first name relates to a colour (on this fanon it's a rule that the first name has to relate to a colour).

Then you have his personality, his appearance seems fine, but this statement in his personality. "Despite being rarely Serious, Rebrum is occasionaly serious", and then the parenthesis statement afterward. Really no way to wrap your head around that, it's just a straight up contradiction.

Also, one would think that his thirst for revenge would hinder him in some way, maybe turn him against faunus, but he accepts everyone in need and such, not really sure on that but whatever, not a big issue.

Moving onto the weapons. Semblance, fine, nothing wrong with that, however, his Katana is already extrodinarily sharp, and the blade doesn't change when it transforms into Axe mode, so how could it become sharper? Doesn't really make sense to me. To quote Ruby after Jaune saying that he could stow away his shield when he got tired of carrying it "Wouldn't it weigh the same?" Likewise, a blade's sharpness doesn't change.

100 Shuriken. Seeing as the the smallest shuriken averages 12 cm in size, or nigh 2 and a half inches. Now, assuming that's the diameter all around and taking his size into account, really, assuming he carries them on his person. Hell, let's go further and say his coat is customized to hold them. I'm being generous and saying taht 42 would be his max. Even in Naruto where carrying Kunai and shuriken was part of their equipment, we never saw a ninja carry more than 24.

Then you finally have the backstory. Now, you say that his parents were high ranking in the Schnee Dust company, but he wasn't born in Atlas. The headquarters for the Schnee Dust Company are in Atlas, that doesn't fully make sense. Were they branch managers? What's the story there? It can be assumed that higher ranking people in the Schnee Dust Company work at the headquarters in Atlas, more specification is needed there.

It is said that while Blake was young did the White Fang change its ways from peaceful to violent. Not really an age specified there. Saying that he was seven specifies a time when it happened, specifically, 11 years ago. However, in the Episode "Black and White" in Volume 1, Blake says that 5 years ago was when the White Fang changed their tactics. Meaning that the person with ram horns was operating alone many years before the leadership change. Doesn't fully fit with canon.

Then there's the whole thing about becoming the protector of Atlas. Now, here's the thing. Atlas is a military based region. It's highly doubtful that Ironwood doesn't have the place under severe protection. Protecting faunus is something, however, it's somewhat odd to assume that humans would need protecting too. And how would he know to be a modern day Robin Hood without information or any way to receive it? He's operating alone and practically hoping to stumble onto trouble.

Barely standing a chance against a Nevermore is kinda strange, seeing as he has had no proper combat training, even though the streets can be educational, it took Team RWBY, a team with years of experience, a full combined effort to take one down.

And then what's this machine you mention at the end? Nowhere else is it inferred to what it is, and how does it make him more powerful? Not enough detail and very vague and completely random.

Yeah, that's about it, have fun with him!