Talk:Jenga/@comment-27743663-20160218064204

Where to begin? Well, first off, I like it.

Second off, any more in depth I go I feel will be unfair towards you because I'm currently half-asleep. Granted, I doubt that's what you're looking for, so I'll just provide the thoughts I clearly have now then go over everything else in a clear head whenever possible.

The relationship between the two seems real, like, if I sat down randomly a library or something, I feel like I would hear a conversation like this going on somewhere near me. People play Jenga at libraries right? Tangent aside, it also reminds me of a relationship two actual siblings would have, blood-related or not. Having two older brothers myself, I can relate to how a sceario like this would play out, and actualy have had similar situations like this. Granted with different vulgar wording.

The way it was written seemed strange at first, and bothered me a bit (probably due to being unused to it) but actually began to set in quite nicely. In fact, now at the end, I actually prefer it as such. Like, the actions aren't really stated, but they don't need to. You can feel them. No narrative has to really describe what's going on, because the imagery the two provide with their words is more than enough to show the good ol' time the two are having.

Given the description as well, and the title as a prequel, it makes sense having read their backstories. The music portion, unforunately, I could not do as I have a roommate, so yeah. Embarrasing fact aside, something else to do when I elaborate.

Critique wise, well, it's a short-story. Critiquing those is either difficult or not. Removing it from my own perspective though, you could call the lack of descriptiveness a weakness. It doesn't go into the full core of what it could be. Rather, the emotions are there, but it could be more than there. If that makes sense. Kinda feels like I'm pulling that out of my ass, but it makes sense to me.

If I'm being perfectly honest, once again, I feel as if what I've given thus far is still unfair because my sleepy state. Also sorry if this isn't what you're looking for. I'll gladly go over it again when my head is fully clear and I can actually properly write things downs. Note the word gladly, because I actually had fun reading over the story, characters, going over everything, and even writing this. Hell, writing this took me like, an hour? And I don't mind in the slightest.

So yeah, that's about it. Sorry once again if that's needed. Anyway, later!