Talk:Tenebris Mordre/@comment-28682436-20190613180715

I'm just gonna highlight the remaining issues that the OC still has:

- Appearance, Personality and Abilities still lack of some extra details, specially the Abilities. For both RP and fanfic you are gonna need to add details like what kind of fighter is he, how does he move, the combat style of his weapons, how is he in a team or solo, does he improvise or makes a strategy prior the combat, does he use dust or not, just to give a better idea as to how is he in combat.

- Why and how does a mask "regulate" powers? What are you implying with that? And how did he get it? Remember that he's only 18.

- The backstory still has plotholes and lacks details of the relationship between the huntress and Tenebris.

- The weapons still have a proportion issue with the whole Scythe-Crossbow. Also just by saying that the weapon is light and has X colors is enough, you don't really need to specify the type of metal. His secondary weapon has a minor problem and is that aura already conduits through weapons, which means that his "energy" is already on the weapon and already allows it to throw aura waves (not fire) so there is not point of giving it a "special alloy".

- I didn't really wanted to talk about the semblance... but it's still a remaining issue. The first half is fine, it just needs more details like the glyph radius, what things can or can't stop and it's effects on people (how much would affect to go from 0 to Mach 1 in almost an instant or if the glyph increases the buff over time). The other half is what makes the OC being rejected. I want to think that you are looking for a "High Frequency Blade" (from the Metal Gear Series) type of Semblance, but the problem here is in how you explained and structured it. The HF Blade in Metal Gear already breaks physics in its world, and the way you described the semblance makes it auto Rejectable by the fact of the user being able of create, not just nuclear energy, but the possibility of a Dead Nuclear Winter in Remnant with just one or two oscillations. If you keep the first half and give it more details, it will make things more balanced.

- Now... there aren't a lot of Grimm Dragons wandering Remnant, so that fact that he changes to a whole new persona just by seeing one or possibly a picture of one... it's a bit weird. It would make more sense if he gets PTSD by fire rather than by Grimm Dragons because, once again, the age he had when the incident happened is not specified.

Best of luck.

- Asriel, just a guy being a dude.