Thread:The P.B.G/@comment-24901923-20140615201402

Hello. I've read over your crossover, and I'd say it's fairly well-written. I wish I could comment properly on the story so far, but I've yet to play enough Mass Effect to do so. To me, it felt a bit clunky to read at first, but I think that's more a matter of needing better puncuation than bad writing. For instance, at the end of the first paragraph:

"After months on the run since the an end of the Clone Wars Ahsoka Tano's daring escape effort had come to an end. Even if she tried to run the Imperials would soon respond, sending everything they had after her in an attempt to kill her with an ruthless prejudice, it was only an matter of time."

More correctly, it would be:

"After months on the run since the end of the Clone Wars, Ahsoka Tano's daring escape effort had come to an end. Even if she tried to run, the Imperials would soon respond, sending everything they had after her in an attempt to kill her with an ruthless prejudice- It was only an matter of time."

Making the line blocking off POV/scene changes more visible would be nice as well. Perhaps tack on an line of bolded dots at the end of the previous scene? 