Talk:Jet Reach/@comment-30530552-20171105222817

Alright. Let's have a look.

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CNR is fine.

Appearance...silver eyes are a no-no, as they've been declared rare and we have no other instances of them outside the Rose family line as of this point in time. I recommend a dark grey or other shade of gray if you want something similar. Outside of that, you're good.

Personality is okay.

6 foot long gauntlets seem a little unwieldy, but I suppose Fox's tonfas aren't much better. As for their secondary functions, they would be okay if they were carbon-copies. Having a gatling gun and rocket together seems a bit much. I'd recommend kicking out the gatling gun and stick with straight rockets with both, because then it seems a bit more plausible to fight with, given he wouldn't have multiple combat forms to deal with. Aside from that, the combat style makes sense.

Semblance seems a little too bogged down (cooldown-wise) for being what it is: a boost to jumping or falling with greater force. I'd recommend cutting down some of the cooldown time, but outside of that it's pretty much fine: though, I will say that at 0% he shouldn't be capable of using it, as his Aura would be gone by that point in time.

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Overall, the beginnings of your Backstory makes sense, but seem to step on canon toes a little too much. Dust is an almost exclusively Schnee monopoly, and plus there's that whole: "if they are a medium-to-large sized company, then why haven't they been mentioned in canon before, especially since we've met with the CEO of the SDC and gone to Mistral?" I propose changing Bianca's company to cover something a bit closer to what Adham does, and then that eliminates the need to trade with the SDC so closely. I would find that a bit more believable. Outside of that, the heir jealousy actually makes sense and I'm a bit intrigued by it.

One of the highest Grimm kill counts out of all the first year students? Eh...that's a bit dicey. Simply saying "the two managed to kill many Grimm by themselves," gets the job done and doesn't really have resounding problems with that nasty thing known as "power levels."

There's the stuff with Amet again, which I outlined on his page.

A strong reputation for being an Ursai killer is also slightly dicey, but it's more subjective than the other Grimm-related thing, so I'm willing to let that slide.

Vytal Festival singles deal, I already talked about that on Amet's page.

I will say, he's a it of a creep about Weiss, even though he was practically told to do that.

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Overall, you're in a better position than you were with Amet's page. If you started fixing stuff on his page, some of your problems here will already get resolved. It's all one big loop, friend.

-Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~

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If you need help, think there's a mistake, or have questions, pelase contact me or another reviewer on our message walls or through the Wiki Discord.

P.S: When a character is rejected, just to clarify, you don't need to delete the page. Just make edits to the page and resubmit to pending when you think you've got the outlined issues resolved.