Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-27603392-20150130112319/@comment-27603392-20150217134618

Confession #433:

Sometimes I just don't know what to do with myself. I keep trying. And trying. Some results? Sure there are some noticable to me and those around me. But is it enough to reach my goal? No. None of the goals I have in mind will probably ever come to fruition. because fuck me. Why should I have anything, right?

Sometimes, I consider if maybe, just maybe, if I didn't exist, everything would be easier on me and those around me. Maybe if...I died, it'd make me feel somewhat better..

But then I remember: I have a crippling fear of death. I have never understood nor accepted it as a thing. The essence of Death frightens e too much to consider, to the point of breaking down. I shy away from chat whenever discussions start.

Whenever someone dies, it hits me probably harder than it should. Pet stories? My eyes won't be dry, but I just force myself not to break down. It'd be stupid otherwise.

I just don't know what the fuck to do with myself.