Talk:Auburn Browning/@comment-5726563-20131214020105

One, the history doesn't make sense, like you just jumped around from part to part, never explaining much of his history. Add more.

Two, a better vitality state doesn't fit Canon. Aura blocks, heals, shields, and occasionally is used offensively, as with Lie Ren. It doesn't heighten senses and agility any further than everyones is.

Three, you Semblance is confusingly worded, but i believe you are saying that it allows you to focus the force of punches and kicks into a single area, rather than the wide area that is hit with punches and kicks. Try to reword it to make it more clear, if this is his ability. If not, reword it completely, as that was what i got from it.

Four, learning 3 martial arts and how to be a gunslinger seems a bit much, as both require extensive training. I would suggest you lower the amount to one martial art.

And when it comes to martial arts, you may want to look at the Fanmade ones, as the explanation of it is already down, or make one yourself, as this is another world, so most likely our martial arts don't exist there. If you don't feel like making a page, say a martial art style like such and such, rather than the style we know. Just a tip to make the page a little easier, and fit better.

Rejected.

-RP Moderation Team