Thread:Fiernull/@comment-24573568-20141114224832/@comment-25582638-20141119055822

Weapon:  Rachenfall

Dual-wielded Umbral-charged Recurve Kodachi (DURK)

*I suggest to remove the word 'wielded' since dual is already understood as a pair of weapons.


 * Umbral-charged? Umbral is related to shadow and a shadow cannot be charged like a battery because shadows doesn't have anything that can be charged. I suggest to change Umbral-charged.


 * T he clips contain a vial of dust, and power the blades  - be specific on how the blades are powered by Dusts like: Do they use Water, Ice, or Fire Dusts to boost your weapons' level of damage?

I also suggest to replace 'vial' (since it's a container of small amount of liquid and it's not yet confirmed if a liquid Dust exist) to a 'slot' for a type of Dust.


 * blades charge like a solar panel in the day, and over time they build up energy  - from my knowledge, weapons are conduits of Aura and can be immediately charged so it's a common knowledge for weapons to be charged by them. If you're refering to Umbral-charged, it's highly possible to be rejected.

* The string and arrows are generated purely by dust, and cost a lot to create  - things generated by Dust might mean Cinder could have Dust manipulation (and I don't know if Dust manipulation acceptible). The string (flexible but durable) thing can be hidden on one of the blades and when the recurve mode is deployed, the string will automatically connect to the end of the other blade; it doesn't needed to be generated by Dust.

As for the arrows....... Cinder will have to carry a lot of 'em.

This is my way of helping you. Even though I'm not an official reviewer, I do my very best to help you. No sarcasm or attempts to degrade you about the weapons because as a concerned friend, I would want you to have a great character with a badass weapon. It's kinda painful to be rejected by the admins (from my experience :' but they do it to make you more creative despite the rules and limits.