Talk:Blood Raserei/@comment-24262164-20140113055405

[http://rwbyfanon.wikia.com/wiki/User_blog:Imosa1/How_I_review How I review. ]

A fairly unobjectionable character. However, I don't like something about your writing.

You're rather coy about how you explain your character. I suggest being a little more stright forward. That is, don't say he may be a racist, just tell us if he is or is not. That also means that you should spend more time explaining what changed him. I realize you link the full story in the trivia but you can say a little more then what you did. Write a one or two sentance summery. I feel like the turning point of your character's life deserves that.

I'm having trouble characterizing him after his turning point. Is he still a sadist, masochist, occasional necrophiliac, and voyeur? Is he still crazy? If so, how is that interacting with his new desire to be a good person? Did he try to get in touch with his family and old town again? Why or why not?

I may be misreading this but did he go to Sanctum and then meet Lock, who's dad insisted he go to Sanctum? Did you maybe just organize that paragraph strengely?

His reason for wanting to become a hunter is to stop people from lousing their way like he did? There's a bit of a disconnect there as to how a hunter will accomplish that?