Talk:Emerald Verona/@comment-30530552-20170708032448

Okay, let me try to give an actual review here as opposed to an outright rejection.

CNR works, but you need to actually mention it on the page, since there's no mention or explanation here whatsoever.

Attire can go under the appearance section, but otherwise that aspect is alright....well, except for the relic. More on that later.

Personality is barebones and needs more detail. Give us the more of the what and why, so we can understand what drives her.

Weapon is okay...except for the relic aspect. More on that later.

Semblance...if these are ARTIFICIAL "Mountain Sentinels," then the concept works, and if not, then this is major problem. However; you have provided next to no detail on the strength level these summons possess, and based on the page you provided, I'm very hesitant on even considering your Semblance acceptable.

Backstory...this needs a major rework:


 * First, how would a little girl manage to get from Patch all the way to Mistral? Getting to Vale would be hard enough, let alone even getting anywhere past that, given how weak you've portrayed her at that age.


 * Secondly, surviving for two years ALONE in the forest? Even with a weapon, Huntress training, and an overpowered Semblance, that would be impossible, considering entire settlements outside the kingdoms can fall within a year or two the Gimm if not well-protected. And you expect a 12 year old girl to survive with none of that?


 * Third, you've got canon interaction with professor Lionheart OUTSIDE Haven Academy, which is auto-rejectable in it's own right.


 * Fourth, Grimm have never been portrayed to be friendly to Human and Faunus kind unless they were summoned, so that in itself wouldn't work.


 * Fifth, the concept of a "relic" at this stage Post-Volume 4 is unacceptable, let alone the circumstances to actually receiving these items. And you're saying she has...two. Really?

Based on all of this, receiving help from someone isn't a suggestion, its a necessity...unless you are fully willing to try and take what I've said in conjunction with the advice and Guidelines pages others have given you, this will likely be rejected for a long while. We're willing to help, all you have to do is reach out and ask.

-Rejected for all the above reasons.

PisceanWaterbender, ~RP Moderation Team~

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