Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-27603392-20140704110526/@comment-26388029-20140725062738

Okay.

Re-review of Tianee Musk, as Flora has done a few edits to the page after my post.

First off: Appearance.

I see a very blatant error now. The last sentence in the section contradicts facts stated previously. For example, a "white, thigh-length gown-like shirt with blue ribbon at the end and a light brown knee-length pant" quoted from the section does not match "a shoulder-length white fur cape over a long sleeve, thigh-length baby blue dress sewed with the same type of fur in the end" and "brown tight pants that reaches her ankle". Please note the coloring of the gown-like shirt and the length of the pants. This will need correcting. Other than that, nice work.

Personality:

The issues I pointed out in my previous review haven't been revised, but as I said, it's a small matter. I did find another thing, though. It says that she respects warriors. Technically, every person at Beacon is a warrior because they are skilled at combat, and according to Wikipedia, "A warrior is a person specializing in combat or warfare, especially within the context of a tribal or clan-based society that recognizes a separate warrior class or caste". Tianee's case would fall under this area. However, how does she do with warrior men in this case? Respect them or distrust them? They do count as both. And what about warriors who disrespect Tianee? Just a few examples of questions that this might raise.

History:

Nothing too major in this section, as it explains everything in a straightforward manner, with a short story to it. Nice work as well.

Weapon and Abilities:

The weapon in question, Ocean Thorn, is still solidly designed. However, it does not specifically state if it uses Dust or not. This coincides with my previous point raised with the weapon: How does it move? The RWBY Fanon rules state that every weapon needs to have Dust integrated in it somehow, be it inner workings or ammo. In this case, only inner workings. Also, the semblance hasn't been fixed as well. I stated my reasoning as to why it needs to be fixed in my previous post, and I don't think I need to post it here again.

Due to the issues stated above,

Rejected.

-Ray