Talk:Fascienne Phoena/@comment-30530552-20171105214537

Alright, here's what I have to say here.

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CNR noted, no issues there, given the "dark" connotation in the first name.

Appearance has no issues.

Personality isn't a problem.

Weapon and fighting style make sense, no real issues there.

Semblance section is a bit too short. The Semblance in itself is fine and quite interesting, but I need to know what sort of drawbacks there are, how much she can make, distance, things like that, as right now it's a little too nondescript, and could be anywhere on the power scale range.

Backstory - if you're going to be attending Beacon, then you need to reference the Fall of Beacon in her history, as the school isn't up and running at this point. Right now, it sounds like she's having a great time wandering the destroyed campus and nothing else. Everything else is fne.

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Overall, really good start to this. Just add in the things I've mentioned, and you'll be all set in no time at all. Alas, for now:

-Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~

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