Talk:Darian Nightshade/@comment-27603392-20140713124600

Appearance:

I am confused of the sweater:


 * "Turtle neck sweater with holes (?) cut for his thumb" - is it a long sleeves sweater that covered his entire hands with holes for the thumb ?


 * "A zipper down the neck" - Maybe it's just me, but I have never see a sweater with zipper before. Most of the sweater are pulled over the head, there are some with zipper but it falls in the "coat/jacket" category, rather than sweater.


 * "Hardened tac scroll" - What is a tac scroll ?


 * "Long coat formed out of his semblance (?)" - So far, only Yang/Weiss/Pyrrha/Glynda/Ruby/Blake (possibly Cinder) has effect when using their Semblances, and the effect are neither lasting nor takes form or clothes.

Personality:


 * Not much to say, except that he is very two dimensional. You can add another paragraph describing what he would do in non-combat situation, his hobbies, anything that make him stands out from the typical lone wolf type.

Ability:


 * Faunus so far only have perfect night vision, so superb hearing and above average scent of smell should be put off until confirmed in the show.

Semblance:


 * As I already explained in the Appearance section, Semblance does not take form of fabric, not yet in the show, given that Semblance is both draining and doesn't have long lasting effect.


 * Looking further into it, this Semblance has too many uses, some of them can be offensive (Second Strike) while the rest of them covers most his flaws (Speed, range) that you've listed in the ability section.


 * The Semblance itself doesn't seem to sync with the character. This is not a rejectable point, but it'd be better if you can make it sync.

History:


 * Not much to say, but I'd like some explaination about the car crash. I will assume that it's an accident, or at best, a set up "accident".

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Rejected, please make the appropriate changes and notify me by replying to this comment once you're finished, and I'll take another look at the character.