Thread:Fedorastorm/@comment-13488655-20160216232558/@comment-26104528-20160311005537

So far the backstory is pretty good, although naturally there's spelling and grammer issues to patch up. Do you have a name for her cybernetics in mind or is that on my end?

Also, cybernetic surgery shouldn't be something she got goaded into. Here's my thoughts for the end paragraph.

"Osiris led an illustrious career as a Dust Runner up until she turned 18. Around that time, highly incriminating footage acquired by the Flagg institute (throw a link to the RP post in question) sparked civil war within the ranks of Master's Realm. After sustaining heavy injuries during a loyalist ambush, she and another group of rebels fled to the Cardamom estate before seeking refuge within thier faction.

''One of the cardamom's allies happened to be the same Flagg Institute that inadvertantly started the civil war. Through a series of financial negotiations and other off-screen dealings by each party's big-wigs, it was negotiated for Osiris to recieve cybernetic amputation, making her the cyborg mage she is now."''

Also, sorry I haven't been keeping on top of "First Week", can't think of any clever textual puzzles right now. Part of me wants to skip to the last test, but I feel there's still loose ends to tie up. Is there anything you in particular want to explore?