User blog:Xanneer/Story review again

Still looking for anyone willing to give my story a read. I would appreciate anyone to give an honest review of what they think of the story.

http://rwbyfanon.wikia.com/wiki/A_Pawn's_tale

The story is about maybe a 15-20 minute read, maybe 10 if you're a fast reader. There are some slight spelling errors here and there but they're like once in a blue moon. Anyone who took the time to read please leave a review and let me know about what you think. What you thought about the story, the characters, the writing, the combat, everything. Thank you for your time.