Talk:Cyan Nychka/@comment-24678303-20151003190226

Hmm, where do I start with this?

Firstly, that character is literally a recolored Gary Oak, several others can confirm. Going along with that, the clothing is very uncreative and generic. Refer to this for more on that.

His personality is...Very all over the place. You say he is calm and collected, but has a temper? One or the other, can't have both. Plus there's that bit about having little difficulty showing brutality and being able to tortyre, kill and interrogate people. Edge much? Also, I do hope not in that order.

The Semblance is...No. Not only does the ability to sense fear add to the edge factor, but it has absolutely no use outside of messing with people. It gives you no advantages over fighting Grimm or, say, highly trained soldiers. If it has no actual ise in combat, it's not really fit to be a Semblance.

The weapons...Are very dysfunctional and I don't really see how they'd work. The blade obstructs where the sight on a gun would normally be, adding on to the fact that matchlock pistols are VERY inaccurate to begin with. Plus, they're incredibly outdated, especially by RWBY standards, so if you're going to have something this simple, you might want to pick something that would either hit its mark the first time or would be able to fire more than once. Plus, the blade just looks like it was tacked on.

The history is equally, if not moreso, questionable. He aspired to be a Hunter, but was in a "Military Program" with his sister, which sas shut down due to Grimm attacks. What? Then they moved to Beacon and suddenly he has a team and is in his second year. What?? Okay, firstly, you have zero to no detail in this backstory, only giving us a partial view of what he's done in the past. Second, he's not even stated to have gone to a combat training school in the first place, I don't get what you're trying to do here.

Finally, I know there's CNR to his first name, but seriously? There's a ton more you could have done with the name, and you just pick Cyan. Ohoho, and I just realized something. The rival (Gary) was initially named Blue and you named him Cyan. HAHAHA, NO.

Also, I really see no connection to the Hunter from Little Red Ridong Hood at any point in this character. You can't just tack that on at the end with no actual correlation. You don't get bonus points for that unless you actually /did/ do that.

Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~