Talk:Darian Nightshade/@comment-27603392-20140713124600/@comment-26060252-20140714034836

Hi there, I made some edits to the character and I'm replying to let you know what I've done to edit it and that it's ready to be re-reviewed. I'll summarize what I've done just to let you know whether or not to read it or just tell me to fix it more.

Appearance:

The sweater is based on this: http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41k5y6ZlMTL._SY300_.jpg just to give you a better idea of what it is. I didnt know of a better way to discribe it other than saying its a turtle neck sweater with a zipper on the neck.

Personality:

I've gone more in depth about his personality and some of the stuff he does while not in combat. I'm not entirely sure abut how to describe his personality in a profile like this because I usually allow a character's personality shine through while interacting with other characters in my writing.

Semblance:

I've removed the fact that his coat is a part of his shroud for now (although if that becomes more acceptable as the series progresses i'd like to change it back) and removed the second strike ability from the shroud. The shroud has also been limited to primarily being used for movement with slight combative uses. I've also gone more in depth about the material that makes up the shroud.

Equipment:

Added an equipment category and moved the Nocturne into this category as well as adding technical discriptions of the tac-scroll and his magnetic backpack.

History:

Added what the white fang thought the car accident was. I dont want to say too much more because its kind of a spoiler for his future.