Talk:Emerald Verona/@comment-30530552-20170829003144

Alright, here's my newest look, covering only the issues I had last time.

Personality's better, acceptable now in my book.

For the weapon, I still feel like additional details on its functionality, approximate size, and what it does would benefit but right now I don't see anything inherently wrong with it design-wise.

I suppose the Semblance is alright, as opposed to last time at least.

Background could still use some details about her childhood. What was her upbringing like: was it happy and stable, or chaotic and tumultuous? Did she go with her parents on archaeological trips a lot? If so, how often? I'm just trying to be helpful here, because for most profiles, there needs to be at least 3 to 5 paragraphs of content, with a few exceptions. In your case, perhaps 2 would be beneficial. Oh, as another note, Mistral's Beacon-level Academy is called "Haven." For future reference, "Atlas" for Atlas and "Shade' for Vacuo are the other Beacon level schools in the other kingdoms.

Still think the Grimm could use a general description on this page, likely under the Semblance section, since that's where it applies.

You've done some good touchups here, you're pretty close now with Emerald.

-Rejected on: Missing details on weapon functionality, Grimm need a brief one to two sentence description on this page due to their importance with her Semblance, Background needs at least another paragraph or so of content, as outlined above.

~RP Moderation Team~

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