Talk:The Beginning?/@comment-4809613-20171205195959

First thing I want to say is this first chapter's only issue is the lack of description. I feel that details left and right were left out and what these characters appear or how their voices sound. Lilac's battlestyle felt broad. How exactly did she aim for their eyes or how does her flute work? Is she using a specialized dust? There's much to be left desired on that bit.

Storywise? I could tell that much thought was put into it. The dramatic tradedy of Beacon and Lilac's friends actually felt like there was sadness in her reaction. However, it felt hard to relate and feel myself. Perhaps later chapters shed some light on who these team mates were and how much they mean to Lilac in the coming storm. Or perhaps the trailers reveal more insight for these charaters.

Summary: describe important details, like voices or the functionality of weapons or the design of characters. It helps readers visualize them. Also descibe how characters feel or remember as such insight can help viewers relate or simulate such feelings.

In hindsight, good beginning.