User blog comment:ThereGoesKira/Ch 0 ~ ENVI/@comment-24490414-20151230065517

Looking good so far! I do notice a shift from third person to first person about 2/3rds down, just to let you know~

The main thing I'll also suggest is just to have your fanfic as an actual page rather than a blog post, given that the stuff in the Fan Fiction category are actual pages (including one by yours truly) and so the blogs section isn't just flooded with fanfics when the category is enough of a designated place for them. :)