Talk:Dunstan Herman/@comment-30530552-20180222191038

Let's take a look and see what we have here...

CNR functions about halfway...I see what you were doing, and I think perhaps you confused "Dunstan" and "Dustan," as the two names have different meanings even with just the added letter...but for all sources I've found, there's CNR associations you can make and were about half referenced, such as the "stone" portion, which I found in the majority of them. So while I encourage you to consider this fact, I'll let the CNR slide at the moment. I should also mention linking your source would be helpful in the future so there's at least one basis we can find for it, makes things easier when the color isn't immediately obvious.

Appearance is fine, although I will note that spelling and grammar issues were noticeable throughout, which might be a detriment to readers. Regardless, I had no real trouble reading this section.

The personality, while passable, is a bit contradictory at times, seeing as honor codes and general vigilante "justice" often don't mesh well together. Regardless, it works.

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As for the Combat Section, I'd like to point out multiple things, which is why I'm separating it into another section entirely.

His noteworthy skill in multiple types of guns is a bit unrealistic even for RWBY, especially since there isn't one particular one he's noted to be exceptional at or prefers to any of the other options, or on the opposite side of the coin, less skilled with. Perhaps limit some of what he's been able to experiment with or get a feel for, and choose one or two he has particular skill in.

This also brings up an issue of what exactly he carries with him at all times, as aside from a knife, it's not immediately clear what gun(s) he brings with him typically, which rubs heads with the Weapon Limit, which is there for a reason.

While I could buy that from a military family he has training in hand-to-hand, how extensive is this training in hand-to-hand and weaponized forms of combat that he has been able to take down two Huntsmen? And assuming he does training regularly, how come his Aura has never activated? Training in combat, stressful circumstances, and random chance can all be factors to unlock it, which would probably be relevant factors given what he does. I can understand not having access to his Semblance as a result of Aura not being activated or lack of Aura training if it were activated, but not so much Aura itself.

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The Backstory is...difficult to read, at times. I'll just get that out of the way. Then there's the fact that taunts and mockery usually aren't effective methods on children to act a certain way (or at the very least, not the "acceptable" way to do so),

What was the purpose of the talk being included if he didn't learn anything from them?

How would he know it's corrupt? Was this the person that talked with his family?

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I have more questions and not enough time. Fix the current issues for now.

-Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~