Thread:ZackOJ/@comment-26362067-20160505161811/@comment-24490414-20160510022620

Alright, this will be long.

Semblance is still iffy as she's able to turn water into someone sentient enough to fight beside her. You definitely need to be specific on to what extent they can do or it's a likely rejection from the Reviewers. I also find the 20 minute limit to be excessive and would suggest no more than a minute (even that might be too much if the Reviewer deems it), especially with the nature of the semblance.

General Ironwood being a friend to Indi's father would fall under OC/Canon interaction that isn't allowed, especially since Indi's family isn't from Atlas, nor is Indi attending Atlas Academy where she'd only interact with Ironwood as her Headmaster and nothing else.

Personality doesn't seem to mesh with the rest of the character, IMO. A person doesn't necessarily have multiple personalities when it's just her mood/feelings/attitude that's adapted to the environment. (Would a trained soldier behave and act at a birthday party the same way as if he were in a combat zone? Likely not. Would he be considered as someone with multiple personalities from that? Not really.) Consider Indi's upbringing: Her family's wealthy, she's an heiress, and she's more or less groomed from a very young age to be this talented huntress. What options do you have from that? You've already written her as the kindhearted heiress where she uses her wealth and skill to help others. What about how she feels about her responsibility as a future huntress and heir to the family name and fortune? Is it something she REALLY wants in her life, or is she just going along as an obligation to her family because she doesn't know any other options? How's her social life prior to meeting her teammates?

Oh, and you need to mention why Indi decided on attending Beacon and not Haven where she'd be closer to her family. Can be as simple as that her family felt Beacon was the best choice and they have the money to send her outside the kingdom, so long as the explanation is there.