Talk:Team JADE-Jace/@comment-8182065-20130913213536

Back again just wanna give some tips if you don't mind:

Since your character is in the Fan Team category as well as Fanmade Character, I can assume you're going list the other members on this page as well correct? I wouldn't recommend doing that because the page would be too long and a bit confusing (unless you're using tabs within the pages). I suggest making 4 different pages for your characters, to organize things a bit more.

Also not sure about whether or not you can have the same team name as another person (saw your comment on the other team JADE), but you could try spelling it differently like JAED if you wanna keep your color scheme, JAID, etc. to cause less confusion or differentiate between the two. Not sure which of you had stated the team name first, but I'm sure you guys can figure that out.

Now onto Jace: So far he's looking pretty good, but you need to really be a lot more specific on the character. The appearance is fine and you don't have to get into too much detail; personality and fighting style are what really needs to be explained more. A backstory is also very important.

His personality is just calm and collective. I'm sure there's a lot more to this character, so ask yourself: does he cry, does he get angry, does he crack any jokes, is he serious all the time etc. and explain them. Just what makes Jace stand out from all the other "calm and collective" characters? Also you might want to add another space for his Backstory/History because that's mostly what the personality is talking about.

For his fighting style I get that he fights like a ninja, but what makes his style so different from others? Stealth is really one of those main things a ninja is supposed to have (even though they rarely show it on occasions), so how can he use that as a technique of his own design? Also another thing you have to think about is how does he actually perform in battle: like is he fast, does he throw kunai at a distance, does he like to get close and slash away with his katana like a mad-man? Not all shinobi like to be stealthy; in fact the ninjas we see in anime and video games don't even have time for being quiet and moving fast-paced all the time.

Another thing I'd like to point out is where you said, "He likes to play with opponents thinking they have the upper hand when in fact, he does." Keeping it like that makes me think Jace is near the lines of OP because you make it sound like he'll always win. Not a possibility unless your character was perfect, but even the most perfect people are capable of losing. This also ties into his personality and makes me think, 'If he's calm and collective, then why does he like to play with his opponents? Doesn't that make him more of a playful person?' which sounds a bit contradictory.

You might want to add his Invisibility to the fighting style as well, and also explain on that more because right now I'm asking myself: how long does his invisibility last for? will it wear off if he gets hit? what gives him the ability in the first place? does he use it outside of battle?

Also remember to add a lot to his backstory/history, as it has the potential to be a great one. I'm wondering what he'll do at Beacon if he's a former member of a criminal organization (An under-cover criminal, or wanting to change his ways) and if he's treated badly at the school because of his past. You should also explain what the Cordoza Syndicate did exactly besides the fact that they do evil deeds.

All these questions can really only be answered by you, so good luck in figuring all that out. :)