Thread:StarlightAT/@comment-5831327-20141110083730

Hey, I read 8 chapters of your Dissidia story, and I feel like I can give a decent review now.

Mainly, I can guess that you have good ideas, but you didn't (I don't know about now) have the ability to convey them that well. The fight scenes were fine, and I liked the details about their movesets. It was very faithful to the canon. The description and setting was also pretty good as well.

One of the areas I felt you could improve in was summoner and warrior interactoin. In the first eight chapters, quite a bit happens, and we get a very good sense of Hikari's life and the people around her. There's Makoto, Haruka, Kurusugawa, etc. However, I think that you needed to focus more on the summoner and warriors working together because that's what's "new" about your fanfic. I really like the idea of the warriors learning to deal with the real world, and normal people learnning to deal with the warriors. We had the warriors and summoners working together, but we only saw them together in battle or dealing with issues, like Haruka.

Something else that I didn't quite get was what kind of world this was set in. This sounded like the real world, but then suddenly using magic is commonplace. I still don't really get it after eight chapters.

If you feel like you disagree with what I said, please tell me. I'm not a perfect reviewer, and having you correct my review helps me in the future. Thanks! 