Talk:Ale Whoska/@comment-13593058-20160513205922

 A Review of Ale Whoska

Contents
[show]==Appearance== Nothing technical to note. Appearance does not interfere with Fanon Rules. No further comment.

Personality
Point of personality made, nothing major to note.

Weapons and Abilities
Rule of one transformable and one vanilla followed.

Semblance misconception.*

Backstory
No contradictions. Nothing worthy to note.*

Miscellaneous
 Colour referenced and source checks out. Character under Grandfather Clause.

Verdict: Rejected
On the grounds of:

- Not scientifically sound

Review Summary
Nothing too wrong with the character, I especially like the name and such. In terms of writing, I think the appearance section can definetly uses some more content. Not mandatory but would definitely improve the article.

As for the backstory... I like a well written story as much as the next guy but this interview portion, while a good idea, doesn't sit well with me in terms of flow. It's too much to read into, I suppose, which I find inappropriate in a character page designed to have as blank statements of what a character is, isn't, or was. The backstory you've written now isn't necessarily reject worthy, I just feel that having it as a separate story and writing a summarized version in this character page  would be better.

 Finally, onto the real issue of the character, the Semblance. The ability is sound, but the science, not so much. To my knowledge (which isn't much, it may be me who might have the misconception here, University of Waterloo, year one, Introduction to the Cell, and Genetics) lactic acid is generated through  rigorous  physical activity where the body's consumption of oxygen is much greater than the absorption of it through the lungs and blood.

 Normally speaking, energy is created through glycolysis where glucose is broken into pyruvate which in turn goes through the Krebs/Citric Acid cycle  to generate ATP, NADH and FADH2. The later two molecules then go through the Electron Transport Chain, which requires oxygen to operate, to produce ATP, an energy rich nucleotide.

 When oxygen is not available in large quantities, pyruvate can be a suitable substitute resulting in fermentation. The pyruvate is used in the Electron Transport Chain which turns into Lactic Acid. The build up of Lactic Acid is what causes pain when exercising.

 So by extension, this IS a neat ability you made up here, but I suppose the draw back condition is worded rather strangely in my eyes. In this sense, using lactic acid as an energy source for some kind of physical barrier is absolutely fine but the draw back doesn't make sense to me. The comparison of him being a stone or immovable object wasn't explain as clearly as it could so peopl might misread or outright not understand it.

 As an example and drawing from my definition of lactic acid consumption, I'd say the ability does something along the lines of this: Sober is a Semblances that makes use of the lactic acid generated during any sort of physical activity and converts it into a damage absorbing shield. In addition, the consumption of lactic acid allows its continuous build up which negated muscle pain normally felt when moving vigorously. However, since the lactic acid is generated through pyruvate, a molecule derived from sugars and food, the ability rapidly  deteriorates his energy storage which may lead to severe exhaustion, sometimes not even allowing him to move.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">If I got it wrong, please let me know. I do think this is an interesting ability but as someone who has taken a University course on something similar, i can't help but thing something seems off. I'm not saying a know better but that the wording is confusing which is limiting me from accepting this character.

<p style="margin-bottom:1em;">Otherwise, good job.

<p style="font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:1em;font-size:14px;line-height:22px;"> If you require assistance in the matter, please feel free to ask other Fanon members for help. If you believe there to be a misunderstanding or mistake, please contact me via message wall or another reviewer.