Talk:Hazel Watership/@comment-24678303-20150305230528

Overall, the character looks fine, but there were a couple things i found were out of place.

"He is a 3rd student in Beacon Academy." I'm sorry, what? I think you meant 3rd year student.

"He graduated as one of the top 10." Ehh, i'd ommit that simply because it makes your character seem a bit overpowered and Mary-Sueish.

As for his Semblance, i wouldn't put in a partial Semblance. Plus, it doesn't have any specifics like limiters or anything, so it seems like an instant hit, and a lot of things can happen in 5 seconds (though the time isn't a bad part of the Semblance, i'm throwing that out there in part with the previously mentioned issue).

Just fix the above and you should be fine.

Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~

On a side note, i noticed quite a few typos in there, so you may want to proofread it once it's fixed to prevent any future confusion.