Talk:Remus Romulus/@comment-24087318-20131231192634

Review as Requested by TorrentAB:

First and foremost: it is completely unknown if Faunus civilization works similar to their Animal counterparts. Given that ALL Faunus, regardless of race, live and band together without segregating themselves by their specific animals, it's completely unlikely and non canonical that Faunus civilization would follow a wolf pack mentality.

They're not beasts. They're people. Perfectly human in behavior.

In addition, it is not known for Faunus to posess any physical traits beyond night vision and either ears OR a tail of their animal race. Nothing more. No claws. Eyes. Facial structure.

It's unlikely that Faunus would segregate by their specific sub-races, or would form a caste system similar to how a Wolf pack functions.

Appearance aside, his backstory and history are written like a fan-fiction, and is quite long and cumbersome to read. Please abridge the events, and word it more like a biography than a story.

Your OC page is meant to be a bioraphy page including the characters appearance, history, weapons and other skills, not a detailed in depth fan fiction about them.

Moving onto the characters weapons. He has too many, and this really removes the character from the look and feel of RWBY. Characters in CANON RWBY only posess one weapon, or multiple copies of the same weapon, and compliment themselves with a shield, or nothing else.

Having multiple weapons, especially when they both transform, goes against this. Please cut down on weaponry, or combine them.

In addition, the character posesses a martial art, and their primary weapon doesn't seem to use it at all, further adding to the characters arsenal that just simply is too much, and too excessive.

His skills are borderline Overpowerered, posessing incredibly above average amounts of speed, stealth, hearing and smell, the latter two arn't even a trait Faunus are known to posess. They are ONLY known for heightened Night Vision from what we know in canon, nothing more.

In conclusion, this character is in need of massive amounts of Cleanup.

Tone down abilities, fix glaring errors in canon. Reduce the amount of weaponry (Martial arts count as a weapon) and make it so the weapons they do keep all blend together into one singular fighting style.

Fix the incorrect speculation on Faunus abilities and physical traits to a level we known from Canon.

The characters backstory needs cleanup too. Faunus are not known to segregate by their animal sub-race. If you wish to keep this, you need to elaborate more on the how, and why.

In addition, it's highly unlikely that a simple hunting villiage living entirely separately from Vale or any of the other four Kingdoms would surive attacks by Grimm without heavy defences of some sort.

Please address these issues before re-submitting to pending.