Talk:Tor Hjarta/@comment-24087318-20140112175221

~Due to BRTE500's position as Chat Moderator, and not Reviewer, character needs Re-review.~

Characters backstory posesses quite a few holes and gaps in progression. For example " He pretended to fight with them and his father supported this and eventually got Thomas to be privately trained. His private trainer, wondering how he coud improve this erratic fighting style advised Thomas's father to make a pair of magnetic gloves to control the cards. Thomas's father realised the potential of the gloves and got them made, not for Thomas but to further his own intrests. "

This has a few gaps that raise questions, like who was he exactly pretending to fight and why was his father supporting this? What sort of fighting style did he have previously his trainer thought was erratic? Why is he controlling what cards?

Moving onto his weapon, the magnetic levitation effect for his cards is a little strange. Magnetism only does pulling and pushing, it doesn't hold things perfectly or move them in a telekinetic manner from what we've seen in canon it reflects this. Forming them into a shield using this wouldn't work either, as there's nothing holding them steady or solid. The concept of throwing cards is solid, but it needs more work to show how they'd be shot/thrown or what other manipulations they could be.

Due to the above, Rejected.

~RP Moderation Team~