Talk:Character sheet base/@comment-25949270-20150101012624/@comment-50.161.100.101-20150315060635


 * Sigh* Okay, I can't stand just being here if this unfinished, but this time I'm taking this in parts, so in case of me getting distraced and browser chrashing (which is very, very, very, very likely) I don't lose everthing. Okay, let's start with the review and I will try to do what I did the first time.

Okay, now for the review of part two. To start, we start with Apperence, now it's okay that you can't descibe something you've drawn, I have trouble with that too, but we will review what you explained. It starts out good, her having black hair is great as you can make it gradiant to gray as that's her col- wait what? What is this!?! 'held up by a purple ribbon with golden edges', okay, okay, maybe this is just her accesery thing and she will still have gray as-'everything she has is purple with gold edges. even her weapons', GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! IF YOU WANTED PURPLE AS YOUR COLOR YOU CHOOSE A PURPLE NAME, THAT'S HOW THE NAME WORKS, WHEN YOU CHOOSE THE NAME YOU CHOOSE YOUR COLOR AND TEAM NAME. YOU CHOOSE GRAY BY NAMING HER GREY. OKAY, OKay, okay, maybe there's a reason in her backstory that gives a rea-you've got to be kidding me. Do we need to go over what a backstory is? A backstory is biography that is about their life until the time of the story. But to be honest it looks pret-'she aslo has never used dust (except one time when she hadn't figured out her semblence yet she was fightig a creature of grimm and she dropped her weapons and for some reason a dust crystal was lying on the ground next to her, and she threw it in its mouth an it exploded.) ',GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YOU SAID SHE MADE A WEAPON BEHIND HER PARENT'S BACK, now that is a great, original, way for a huntress but then,'she aslo has never used dust', WHEN YOU MAKE WEAPONS ONE GENERALLY AT LEAST MESSES, IF NOT USES, DUST. Okay, now if the backstory gives a reason why th-'(except one time when she hadn't figured out her semblence yet she was fightig a creature of grimm and she dropped her weapons and for some reason a dust crystal was lying on the ground next to her, and she threw it in its mouth an it exploded.)'........No.......Just no...This is just a circumstance with the additional information can't work. You said she never used dust, ever, but then you plop this in, by the way one does not simply put situations like this in if there are no others as if just lookes so out of place, which could not be possible if it she wasn't messing with dust... This is going to be so hard to fix but your story has a whole load of potentail (grr...spelling) it just needs to be exucted properly.

Okay, review is over, I'll do the next parts later.