Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-27603392-20140704110526/@comment-23929867-20140705214924

Crystal Nelde

Alright, I'm going to break this review down into a section-by-section analysis, working from the top and moving down.

Appearance: This section is brief, but it does its job. I like her outfit, and how you included her weapon (or at least part of it) in the description. The inclusion of various pictures certainly helps. However, I would like to see a little more here about the character herself. Is she tall? Short? Is she lithe, or is she slightly more big-busted? A little more detail would go a long way, but as it is, it's passable. I have no major problems here.

Personality: Arguable one of the strongest points of this character. Reading this, I get a very good idea of what she's like, and how she interacts with the rest of her team. I find myself wanting to see her evolve and grow as a person, and in a medium where story is everything, that's a very good thing indeed.

History: Again, a well-written backstory. On its own, it would have been fine, but when I saw that you had a link to an expanded version written as a full fanfic, that pushed it up from 'good' to 'great'. And most importantly, it doesn't conflict with canon, even going so far as to feel like a character I might see in the show. The only thing that leaves me wondering is, if Crystal was such a daydreamer, then how did she come to know enough about the complex process of building weapons to do it on her own? Overall, a well done backstory.

Weapon/Semblance: I'm a little confused about how this works. If I understand this right, she's basically a dust caster, like Weiss, and uses Faith and Trust to use dust attacks, right? If so, then it's an interesting concept. Or is her bracelet a gun, like Yang's shotgun gauntlets? Either way, it doesn't quite feel like something from the show, which may be jarring to some players, but it still follows the rules and doesn't seem overpowered, so I'll give it a pass. The semblance is unique, and unlike anything I've seen before. I'm not certain if it would work, considering what we've seen in the show, but it seems alright, so I'll give it a pass.

Overall, a well-written character who I'm personally excited to see develop. And for this, I deem this character ... Accepted.