Talk:Kuro Takeshi/@comment-25763181-20131227033545

Alright. First off, since I specialize in creating weapons, I'll give my opinion on the blades first.

So...the two former weapons of Kuro seem okay to me, nothing OP yet nothing that stands out. However, Shiranui's functions sound a little...confusing IMHO. Can you elaborate on how exactly does it work? Well, then again I might be misunderstanding things or I'm probably missing something here.

Shinji raises a red flag here ("...pierce through most kinds of armor and clothing"). Although thick armour can stop it, a throwable weapon that posesses the ability to pierce armour sounds like it's leaning towards the OP side of the scale IMHO. I suggest changing it so that it can at least penetrate very light-gauge armour so Fanon Reviewers/Admins won't reject your OC for that.

As for Hareyakana, nothing out of place there. The only thing that bugs me is the gun's attribute of only firing for just over a second before having to reload. If this were Kuro's secondary weapon, or if it were to have a twin to make it an akimbo weapon, it would be fine. But then I might as well be complaining simply because it's not something that I would design/create, so unless you're reconsidering about the weapon, I suggest not changing it. But other than that, it's a good weapon you have there.

The "Appearance" section is quite detailed, fairly close to the point where it meets my criteria of the perfect physical description of a character. However, I question the choice of emblem - it seems a little random IMHO, as if you just pulled it out of complete nowhere. Then again, I would be going back to the whole "I must be missing the point" thing.

The personality and backstory is good enough for a pass, nothing out of place - though the second half of Kuro's history seems quite interesting.

Overall, it's a very nice character so far. A "template" character, as I like to call it, Kuro is the flesh and bones of what a good OC is and is the standard of a passable RWBY fan-made character. However, it needs some skin. Don't settle for "Standard", upgrade to "Premuim"! Make your reader remember him. You need to make it stand out somehow. Hopefully the finished product will fix that.

8.2/10...for now.