Talk:Blood Raserei/@comment-13593058-20160330004721

 A RE-Review Checklist of Blood  Raserei

Weaponry Confusion: Fixed
Weapon mechanics now make sense.

Grimm Exploitation: Not Fixed
Excuse me.

Verdict: Rejected
On the grounds of:

- Grimm "rape"

- Inconsistency of continuation/unreadable formatting

Review Summary
Still an underlying problem with this character is the fact that Grimm can't be raped. Grimm don't have genitalia. Furthermore, the use of the rape in this context is inappropriate with respect to the definition of rape.

While being a rapist is an acceptable character trait, it shouldn't glorified in the sense. I am not saying that you ARE glorifying rape but the sentence structures implies so.

In summary, the character as a whole has poor construction in a literary sense. There is a lot of redundancy and a lot of cringe worthy elements. The page constantly switches from a character narrative to a character bio, of which vary dramatically in length and readibility.

And I dare to say that this is a bad character.

Not because he's a bad concept; in fact, the rest would have been okay and even enjoyable to read once you get past the problems with the character.

 He's bad because the writing is bad.

And is it the author's fault? Yes.

 This is in no way a personal attack, but just me, as a reviewer stating what I think is wrong and should be changed about the profile. I would go through all sections of the page and determine what is important and what is not. Details should be present but stated confidently and efficiently. Events of a backstory should be direct and unwindy.

There is so much more I could say that needs fixing but unfortunately I do not have enough time, nor is it fair for others to have their time taken because of one character. I disagree that this character should be scrapped, only reconstructed. Just delete the words you have now and rewrite it.

 If you require assistance in the matter, please feel free to ask other Fanon members for help. If you believe there to be a misunderstanding or mistake, please contact me via message wall or another reviewer.