Talk:Blau Roma/@comment-25924729-20181122055940

Same problems as the last OC, though there is improvement in some parts.

Appearance, personality and backtory are pretty short, but getting better with the details and descriptions than before, especially in the backstory section. Nice one, keep it up :)

The biggest problems on this page would be in her semblance section. It seems to contradict itself, as the first part seems to suggest she absorbs lightning dust directly to supercharge herself, but your comparison of Strength > Semblance > Electricity means she's converting her own physical energy to electricity. They're just not the same thing, actually complete opposites of each other. I suggest rewording and explaining the section better, pick one and stick with it.

It also doesn't mention what happens to her when she's Supercharged. You have to mention the effects, like does she gain any physical boost, new abilities, etc. Also remember to give the semblance limits like duration, energy drain, maximum range or strength etc.

This applies to her weapons too. This one is also already much better than the previous one, better described and detailed. But you must also specify stuff like the type of ammo she uses, and how much she can carry.

Overall, a great improvement. Keep up the nice work d('-')

Rejected.

If you have any questions, feel free to DM me on Wikia or DIscord.

~RP Moderation team~