Talk:Doug Roach/@comment-24012109-20150713170833

Memetic. Bland. If this OC was a steak, it would still be in the freezer. Hell, I'm not even sure how one would even RP with this guy.

First of all, his name doesn't mean 'black stream', it means 'dark river'. It's not black at all, more of a dark blue if anything. A note of the wise, while it still works because river saves the name, this doesn't work all of the time.

His personality doesn't make sense, or atleast is really redundant. Yeah sure, he lost his family and such to change his life, but how is he a social person if he bottles up his emotions? It's either one or the other: He deals with the angsty memetic pain, or he holds it all in and doesn't bother.

When you want to include fighting styles, normally the fighting styles would actually contribute to the weapon and not just be thrown in to be there just because. Based off of a real martial art yes, but when he already has a broad sword and a pistol I fail to see how he could actually utilize a defensive base style for something as trivial as revenge. Also, none of his weapons actually transform, which leads me to believe this is less of a RWBY character and more of something else.

But besides those very heavy rejectable mistakes, the biggest offender is the semblance. A cloaking semblance that lasts that long is beyond broken, no matter the channeling or the strain. Heavily dial it back, because 10 minutes is a VERY long time to be invisible to the naked eye.

Rejected for the semblance, and very glaring issues that make the OC just very disjointed.

--RP Moderation Team--