Talk:Ormand Tyr/@comment-27743663-20170821031442

Hey-ooooooo

CNR, well, I'd prefer if you just called the page after his real name showing his name follows the CNR rather than have to see from the CharBox and backstory, but yeah, Tyrian is in fact a shade of purple, and his birth name, so it works.

Appearance, he has two noted faunus features. Scales and his eyes. Only one faunus feature is allowed. Ditch one or the other.

Personality is noted.

Backstory is odd. For starters, how did he manage to actiavte his semblance with his aura noted to be active beforehand? And I don't know how a child would be able to directly identify him as a member of a specific criminal organization. Criminal organizations in general is typically not something children don't specialize in.

Weapon, I'm...not really sure how poison would react with aura. In the sense of with it's force-field like effects and once things get past it, particularly since how aura works and what it can do in general has yet to be covered, but I'll say sure. Just remember for most people of Hunter-in-training level, their aura will bounce off the poison coated weapons and make them not great.

Semblance, well, that goes into the poison problem again. I don't know whether aura would defend against inhalants, but, I don't think it wiillll? Well, assuming it doesn't, let's go into its affects. Why is he specifically immune to his own toxins? Ignoring that if he wasn't it'd be bad, they're still toxins that affects others, so unless he has lungs of steel or is somehow immune to toxins, it should be affecting him as well. On that, it does too much. It's a super-debuff, and somehow even works as tracking device. I'd remove the tracking part, and add something to make using it more pricely, or just make the effects little to irrelevant at first, then become more deadly the longer they reside. As it stands now, anytime some conflict shows up he can just pop it with little consequence and end things pretty quickly.

Skills, how does being a faunus make him more dexterous and flexible? That's not a thing.

Tl;dr

Rejected on

- Two faunus traits

- Semblance actiavted with no mention of his aura being activated prior.

- Little small child somehow being able to identity him as being part of a specific organization.

- Semblance reasons, as listed above.

- Dexterous and flexible while noted due to being a faunus. Those don't happen from being a faunus.

~RP Moderation Team~

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