Talk:Marcus Mitternacht/@comment-27743663-20170704015610

CNR is noted.

As a quick note from the first page though, his organization is listed as WIP. Going from that, and lacking the full detail of just what his organization is and what it does, I'm already going to say rejected since it then by proxy makes him incomplete. However, I will still cover the rest of the page.

Appearance, let me just get into something real quick. So, he wears a jacket over his coat. Both, normally, even if thin, are still rather inconvenient to put over the other. It'd be like in cartoons where someone just covers themselves in layers of clothing and ends up looking like a marshmellow. Then, he throws on his exoskeleton, with an already presumable large bulk of clothing on. I legitimately feel bad for him, because this man is very likely sweltering under all those clothes plus heavy armor. Just from how inconvenient that is in combat and difficult to move in, I'm going to say no. Fix the appearance a bit to make it make more sense.

Personality is noted.

Backstory, where did he get the training to join Atlas? Aside from that, I'm questioning whether something like the AAF would exist. As well as that, in the top of the page it says he joined the Fallen Angels, not the Outsiders.

Weapon, please take note for a moment. He already has a primary, right? Then he has a listed secondary. Then he has armor. Then he has a thruster pack. As it says in the guidelines, something that enables flight already counts as a secondary weapon. On top of that, I'm going to say the armor counts as one too given just how versatile it is in its functions, which stacks up to about three secondaries already, while you're only allowed one. Lower the armors capabilities a bit, then choose what you want as your secondary.

Semblance, a better explanation of how his "teleportation" works would be appreciated. On that note, it's noted to be something akin to being intangible. Something which, as noted in the guidelines, isn't allowed. So on that it's already instantly rejected. On another note, how far can he "teleport" too? Aside that, I'd ask what the cooldown is, but it's already given with the whole consecutive teleports. While it could be creative, with how the whole thing works it comes off more as silly rather than an actual demerit. Its true it instills the character to think more in its usage than randomly spam it, but in the first place having to "think hard" before using it blindly isn't really a suitable demerit, especially since there's a clear work around to it with his wait time.

Tl;dr

Rejected on

- Organization is WIP

- Organization doesn't match up with the backstory one

- Appearance doesn't make much sense

- Where did he gets his training, I don't believe something like the AAF would exist (for the AAF point, feel free to ask another reviewer or Admin about that, that's simply my own personal opinion)

- Too many secondaries

- Semblance is intangible, as well as odd demerits that aren't really demerits.

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