Talk:Cadoc Mercenarius/@comment-24911350-20140602213510

--Requested Review--

Fewer issues here than with Urdin, but they are a bit more pervading and abstract.

This profile has a lot of spelling and grammar errors on it, while I can't remember catching any on Urdin's.

It also doesn't mention anything about his downtime or motivations. Sure, maybe he just likes the chaos and death, but his loyalties still lay with the highest bidder. What does he want the money for? What does he spend it on (if he spends it)? Is it just a principle, like he doesn't actually care about the money itself, it's just a protocol for finding a job? Does he just pile it into the middle of his bedroom and sleep on it every night?

He'd have to be careful not to become so infamous as to attract the attention of any authority higher than the civilian police as well, because he wouldn't stand a chance against against someone like a hunter or huntress. He may know his stuff for assassinations, but he has no usable aura or semblance, a fairly inefficient, close-range-only weapon, and it seems his experience is largely with civilian contracts. Unless he's the one getting the drop on his target, which would only happen if he was contracted specifically to kill them, he doesn't have much of a chance against a trained fighter.

And this isn't terribly important, but his name doesn't follow the colour rule. He may have been made before it came along, and IMO that rule should be optional anyway, but it might be something to think about.