Talk:Nox Umbra/@comment-13172690-20160707033554

Ok, a few things to fix.

First off, if he is a faunus, what is his trait to a Jackal? Every faunus has some kind of animal trait.

For your personality, I believe that you should expand on this a little bit. It seems pretty vague to me. What happens when angry? Upset? Look to accepted characters for a better idea.

Also in your bio, where's Windstorm Valley? Vacuo? Also, im very sure that he probably wasnt trained until he was at least 7 or 8. As for the education, im very sure with his caliber he would be like any other student at Atlas Academy. He wouldn't be able to have a full education from Atlas Academy when he is only 18 years of age. That means he would of had to be there when he was 14 and that is a big no. In academies like Beacon, we only accept 16 as the youngest with a valid reason. Please relook at your backstory and fix it to follow rules.

In his primary weapon, I was wondering what you meant by this? "A lever action rifle he named Astra, his deceased fathers namesake, that fires single shots of 308 and 50 caliber dust rounds. the clip houses seven shots of 50 cal and 308" Clarify this a little bit.

Lastly, the semblance. From what is stated, there is no limiter and it sounds like an auto hit semblance since it fires a lot of bullets that would be nearly impossible for a person to dodge. Please either fix that or choose a different semblance all together.

There's a lot of work do,

Rejected

~RP Moderation Team~