Talk:Alon Behrooz/@comment-13593058-20161106025012

 Alon Behrooz Review

Appearance
Nothing technical to note.

Personality
Point of personaility made; a little wordy for my tastes so improvements can be made.

Weapons and Abilities
Weapon rules followed, however, acid is a slight issue that can go either way.*

Semblance acceptable, but rather vague in terms of power.

Backstory
Backstory is acceptable.

Miscellaneous
 Colour reference acknowledged.

 +1 Onionbros and Sunbros

Verdict: Accepted
On the grounds of:

- No inconsistencies

Review Summary
Well written for a traditional knight character. Just 1 main issue and 2 tiny ones.

Main issue for me was the personality; yes she is all those things but it seemed too wordy to express a simple idea of an honour-bound knight. Not that what you have right now is bad, but it could be more concise.

The two tiny issues regard her weapon and Semblance. The weapon itself is fine but having acid as part of a kit seems rather strange and out of place here in regards to a knight type of character. Some may consider acid as a type of low-handed, even criminal, way to fight.

The Semblance is okay, but not really effective or unique. If its sole purpose is to allow her to be on par with normal people in terms of attack, then it's not a really good Semblance IMHO nor is it fitting of a "turtle" or a knight.

Either way, those aren't actually issues but just things to keep in mind.

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