75 Proverbs of the Eliminator Program


 * 1) One is an anomaly, two is a trend.
 * 2) There’s a reason why they say: Die with honor. It’s because cheaters usually live.
 * 3) Anything that can be solved with diplomacy, should be solved with liberal application of diplomacy.
 * 4) Failing #3, anything that can be solved with violence, should be solved with the liberal application of violence.
 * 5) The usefulness of a firearm is directly proportional to its magazine size, followed by round caliber.
 * 6) Failing #5, the usefulness of a firearm is directly proportional to its stopping power and inversely proportional to its overall length.
 * 7) Ordnance in motion has the right of way.
 * 8) Don’t piss off your Technology Specialist; s/he knows 5 dozen ways to destroy your career.
 * 9) Infiltration Specialists know 4 dozen ways at minimum to make your everyday life hell; annoy at your own risk.
 * 10) Before attempting to rile up your Assault Specialist, recall that s/he can find at least 3 dozen objects in a room (or 20 foot radius) to injure you with, not counting whatever is on his/her person.
 * 11) A Field Agent in motion outranks an Officer at rest.
 * 12) An Ordnance Technician at dead sprint outranks everyone.
 * 13) Just because someone else is operating a vehicle or mounted weapon doesn’t mean you can’t have a turn.
 * 14) No one’s paying you to talk, but talking is something you will pay for.
 * 15) Being 100% honest will get you killed; being 95% honest will keep you alive like you wouldn’t believe.
 * 16) Never take lightly or unarmed people for face value.
 * 17) There is no such thing as an easy target. Targets that make it easy for you to hit them however…
 * 18) The sooner you play all your cards, the sooner the other guy plays their trump.
 * 19) Always keep something up your sleeve. This ain’t a poker tournament, there are no rules.
 * 20) You can only be fooled/fool someone once; after that, you’re/they’re officially an idiot.
 * 21) Take 5 minutes before deployment to drop a deuce and/or take a leak; future you will thank current you for it.
 * 22) Regardless of your ‘hardware’, always bring tampons.
 * 23) Don’t date your co-workers. The risks have a bad habit of outweighing the rewards by gigantic margins.
 * 24) Failing #23, never underestimate the destructive power of a very protective, well trained, and excessively armed significant other.
 * 25) Fashionably late applies to firefights more than it does to parties.
 * 26) If it can be picked up and fired while still maintaining some semblance of a grip, it’s an infantry-portable weapon.
 * 27) Overkill is underrated.
 * 28) Asking forgiveness is a lot easier than asking permission.
 * 29) Egos aren’t bulletproof; this works both ways.
 * 30) Trash-talking your enemy isn’t against regulations, but it’ll be hellishly embarrassing if you can’t follow up on it.
 * 31) Those outside the program will never know the happiness that comes from a fresh cooked meal or a fresh box of ammo.
 * 32) Money might help you in the World Economy, but you will find things money can only dream of buying in the Eliminator Favor Economy.
 * 33) Monetary investment trumps personal investment. You can always earn money back, good luck earning back time without dealing with the occult.
 * 34) Following #33: don’t make deals with the occult. Negotiating with them is a bitch to say the least.
 * 35) Anything can be a weapon if you have the right attitude.
 * 36) If you find yourself in an unarmed fight, see #35 and #2.
 * 37) Legality is relative.
 * 38) Following #37, it never technically happened if there were no witnesses.
 * 39) Don’t limit yourself; even though you’re trained to be a one-person army, imagine what could happen with two of you.
 * 40) Anyone who says: you don’t need that much ammo/dust/supplies should be liberated of said ammo/dust/supplies. They clearly won’t live long enough to use it all.
 * 41) Geek the Semblance users first for Pete’s sake!
 * 42) When in doubt, you’re not being paid enough for this gig.
 * 43) When you have been paid, walk away. If the client needs you again, hand them one of those pre-filled out contracts you keep on hand.
 * 44) Screw with an Eliminator’s coffee or beer if you want to die.
 * 45) Sometimes, you lose.
 * 46) Trust but verify.
 * 47) A threat’s a threat.
 * 48) The duties of the Team Shrink belong to everyone.
 * 49) Every firefight has the bullet magnet; if you can’t find them within 1 second, it’s you.
 * 50) Always keep a spare weapon; never let anyone know you have it.
 * 51) Double-tap liberally; ammunition is cheap, life is not.
 * 52) Plan A is always doomed, Plan B is always sketchy, Plan C is sheer desperation.
 * 53) In the gods we trust. Everyone else, keep your hands where I can see them.
 * 54) Shootouts are like dating: it’s better to risk scaring them off than it is boring them to it sleep.
 * 55) There is no such thing as ‘Not Worth Killing’; see #51.
 * 56) “Easy fights” and “Bait” are synonyms.
 * 57) Have a hobby that has nothing to do with your job; your mental state will thank you in ways you cannot imagine.
 * 58) Always wear gloves.
 * 59) It doesn’t matter how much you cry or vomit, what matters is how much you can get done despite crying or vomiting.
 * 60) Following #59, a strong stomach and thick skin never hurt anyone in this job.
 * 61) Regardless of your religion, you will likely end up in some version of Hell. Make sure it’s crowded when you get there.
 * 62) The less someone insists you trust them, the more trustworthy they are.
 * 63) Following #62, never trust anyone; act as if everything depends on you.
 * 64) Always assume your armor is half as strong as you think it is.
 * 65) Always assume the next hit is what takes your aura out.
 * 66) Use your imagination.
 * 67) Never go undercover as somebody’s date.
 * 68) It’s not the bullet or blade that kills you, it’s what it hits.
 * 69) Professionals are predictable so fight like an amateur.
 * 70) Never volunteer; never work for free.
 * 71) Mr. grenade is nobody’s friend.
 * 72) The pointman/woman is always right.
 * 73) The congruity of a person’s outfit is inversely proportional to their combat effectiveness.
 * 74) If at first you don’t succeed, bring a bigger weapon.
 * 75) Try and have fun on the job.