Board Thread:News and Events/@comment-24296957-20141130191712/@comment-13172690-20141202232819

Alright i'll give this another shot and I'll do Drait for now.

From when I was reading this profile, I noticed that he did not seem to have a meaning for his name until I looked at the trivia and the character block and it revealed his full name as Rai Drait. I've had this problem with one of my characters in the past and I advise that you would include his full name in the first part. when you say, "Drait is a graduate of Siren Academy, living life on his own terms.  He wields two gaunlets, Spark..." You should add his first name to avoid the name confusion since you have the meaning of his first name in your trivia. Though I would like to know why he doesn't like to be called by his first name.

Personality can be flushed out a little bit more, though it could be intentional since I believe that you would want to flush it out in rps. But a little more info could be helpful.

As for his background, it is decently witten since from the family aspect, he was imprisoned and wanted to get out into the world to find out the truth. Though he lived in luxury, was his mother strict towards him so he would work for what he has or was it his choice. Also, in the Siren academy, was it alright to make his team the best and did you ask the creator of that school if that was alright to do so? Just a couple questions to ask.

When reading on his abilities, semblance, and weapons, I wasn't quite sure if you have clarified it in an earlier paragraph in the profile but I  was wondering if the bastard sword is just an original sword or one that is dust infused. If it is dust infused, sure it can be rejectable but if it is an original, ordinary one, the semblance is viable because of his the function in Spark which helps him utilize it further along with his fighting style. I do like that in the sections with Spark and his fighting styles, you put quite a bit of detail explaining them. Though I wonder what kind of dust source and how many he can use at a time in the gauntlets.

There are a few things for clarification reasons, but after some clarification he will be acceptable.

Rejected for now for the reasons stated.