Talk:Ophelia-Lila Demoiselle/@comment-25924729-20181123091748

Alright... interesting character, artwork is cute, Phantom of the Opera is a fantastic play :D

Appearance, personality and backstory sections are fine, make sense and mesh well together.

Her weapon itself seems fine, but the mention of Quartz Dust needs a bit more explanation. Fan made Dust types are allowed, you have to explain a little about its features, abilities, uses and stuff. Just a brief paragraph or two will suffice.

Her semblance seems to be a form of mental manipulation, it has potential to be very powerful. So it would be better explain is greater detail, or to put more severe limits on it to be fair. Add stuff like any negative effects on herself, limits on how long or how much she can use it, any specific conditions it wont work, or ways to break the trance etc.

Last issue is that her name doesnt fit the colour name rule. Ophelia meaning help doesnt bring to mind any specific colour, Lila is a valid name, but its her middle name. The colour reference must be in the first name, not the middle or last.

So yeah, just a little elaboration, more details and a name change. Then she'll be alright.

Rejected.

If you have any questions, please DM me on Wikia or Discord.

~RP Moderation Team~