Board Thread:Role Plays/@comment-5999656-20160207063839/@comment-25582638-20160528134712

Her Aura was trickling down from continuous healing and protection against the chemical agent. The pain in her head was no more, either because of the drugs or the Aura. Cyzarine barely registered what took place in her surroundings. What she was only aware of the most were the death of the Fullers and a new gas mask over her face. Everything happened so fast. Perhaps the dosage was too much or there are some chemicals mixed up.

No, she knew this feeling. This isn't supposed to be the effects of the stimulant. She was supposed to become more alert and attentive, not feeling....... down.

Cyzarine snapped back to reality. The mysterious woman asked her similar to that of an EMT assessing the patient. She's the one who defeated the Fullers, she recalled. Upon hearing the names “Fen” and “Platinum and the word “hired”, the young girl did her best to fight off her drug-induced mild state.

Daybreak Syndicate, an organization whose service is intelligence-retrieval. “Only” supposed to be. They have a force of a mercenary organization. They're connected with Fen in some way. Why is she asking about me? Doesn't her organization know already? Or is this another act? She's playing games with-

''Stop. Right. There''

“Cyzarine Bluthardt.” she replied softly. “I'm, uh, here for Ms. Roads for the same reason as you.” Trying to be polite and pushing away her desire to use and think in her usual approach, it was exhausting to do both.

Going against her nature, she felt vulnerable with such response, which made her let go of the assault rifle, letting the strap carry it behind her. Better than clenching the grip tightly and showing how nervous she is. Her mouth was opened, consciousness telling her that this isn't her thing: Not asking the questions and telling the woman to drop the act.

''This isn't right. They cannot be trusted. Stop playing around. Stop playing on their hands like another pawn. Don't you dare turn your back on what you know. You have the every right to protect yourself from them'', the voice whispered.

Potential enemies. That's how she sees them. That's how she always sees those who aren't within her circle.

''Don't make yourself more vulnerable. Or die regretting it.''

Trust others? She already made herself an open book to her own family- to her mother and grandmother who distorted the differences of love and pain that made them synonymous. Then they become synonymous to genuine trust in her own twisted way she cannot easily discard such interpretation.

She feared it. Such instilled feelings are dangerous that's why she has to be distant from others. Yet she felt that she cannot live without it. Emotions won over logical. She realized she unconsciously created more pain for herself but without being wholly attached and helpless to the sources who became victims of her deeds. Her trauma just made things worst.

Everything's already messed up, was what she said to the Fullers.

This is why she was out of control earlier. The realization of that desire she pretended to be avoiding for a long time and the consequences of donning that mask.

“I'm very sorry for the trouble I've caused to you.”